Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Princess Dropped Back to Earth: Pre-Thanksgiving Adventures

I am back in Pittsburgh. This means only one puppet and it's all about the business. I am cooking and cleaning too. It's weird being back home. Some things change, some things stay the same. I am about ten years older than I was when I left. There is still a part of me that is soft, loves Pumpkin Pie. There is a part of me the big city had hardened. I guess adulthood changes you. Part of me is like, "I want my mommy!"

Then when she shoves a vacuum in my hand I am like, "Eh, maybe I like this adulthood thing better than I thought."

The day before I left I had to unclog my sink. My apartment looks like a bunker. Then again, I am promoting a book. My book is now available overseas which is exciting!!!!Go here to find out more  http://irishcountry.ie/index.php/i-came-i-saw-i-sang-memoirs-of-a-singing-telegram-delivery-girl.html

Anyway I had to go to the hardware store to buy Drano. YUCK! That was an adventure. Which Drano do I buy? Not the kind that makes meth. Wait they all make meth. Bad joke and I couldn't resist.

Today we are doing all the pre-prep work for Thanksgiving. We are getting the pies and getting ready to surprise my dad for his birthday. Don't tell him. I have go get him a present too. I don't know what I am getting him yet. Almost got him a book but didnt know which one to get him.

Some girl who used to date the quarterback and graduated with my brother is getting married. I remember when she was a ditz, now she will be  a married ditz. She still has terrible peroxide blonde hair. My gay haidresser friends say that stuff is bad for your roots. Woman, how do you have a scalp.

My mom is already pestering me with morning chores. My nails are chipped like a homeless crackhead begging for your change. My lips are a little chapped. My mom is also telling me that my nails are chipped and my lips are a little chapped. But she did like the new Spiderman. Somethings do stay the same.

Somethings change. My sister was interviewing to match for her residency. These days her hair is one color. I never thought that would happen. In high school she was blonde, eggplant, red, eggplant again, red again, blonde again but for the last few years has managed to be almond colored. Who would have thought the kid would stick with one shade? Then again J. Lo never did.

I am currently rethinking my stance on love after seeing Spiderman. I believe in love again and want it for Christmas. But once I get it I will mess it up. I know I'm a mess. What else is new. Still, my messiness makes for good stories. Within the last year I dated a comedy legend, convicted felon turned fugitive, dead beat father, washed up reality tv star, and wannabe sound engineer. Who's next? After Hurricane Sandy I would say the Con Ed line guy.

Anyway, that's what's new here. I will be cooking turkey Thursday and eating all day. Tomorrow is my dad's birthday.


I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Available on Amazon



  1. Well now I know to keep it ;) Hope you have a good holiday and are kind to turkeys