Tuesday, November 27, 2012

INDIEpendent Woman

For the past five years I have had no agent or manager. I had one several years ago. The thing is, he really wasnt doing anything for me.Yes, he got me the some commercial spot that was fun but regrettable. Yes, he got me a cute headshot. No, he really wasnt doing much else aside from trying to drug me and sleep with me.    So I let him go.

For about a few months I was unsure, drinking heavily and wandering around the comedy scene with my puppet hoping to find management. None came. However, what did come was another TV spot just because I showed up somewhere with May. I was standing in line like many unrepresented people and they pointed a camera my way. WE got on TV. Rest is history. There were people who had private auditions that didnt get nearly as much air time as I did. One lady, a fattie who won some old lady contest, bitched on a comedy blog that I got more air time than her friend with facial warts. Needless to say the bitch had management and I did not. She could be passive aggressive because she was ugly and misused big words, but I was on big TV and everyone and their mother saw me.

I was sticking it to the MANager.

The next year I stayed in touch with one guy who sort of jerked me around and then freelanced with another. One got me a cancelled gig and the other just sent me out for things I was wrong for. But through my own doing I got on Good Day NY. Say what you will about my Rachael Ray appearance but I procured that with no guidance whatsoever. The ugly hipsters at Best Week Ever felt the need to cyberbully me. Joel McHale was mean to me. But if those bitches had to do it on their own they couldnt. Today I am somewhat of a cult legend because of that. Not to mention the blogger at Best Week Ever got fired and got fat. I however went on to appear on Cinematherapy.

No bad for someone who is unMANageable in the eyes of the morons who claim to own reputable operations.

Of course the following year was a lil rough. Paid the price for being me. Doors slammed because lets face it,when a woman takes a risk she is either a darling or a deviant. I was more the ladder and it worked against me. However,through my own hard work I booked an appearance with Jeff Foxworthy. I was on Pix all the time. I had friends with big managers who bitched and moaned that they hadnt been on TV in years. Lil April Brucker went and did it on her own. One so called comedy manager booked me for some gig where the owner tried to get me to pose naked and cheaped out on a mic. Sigh, I did better on my own.

I was MANaging thank you very much.

The following year I began doing my own videos. I was slowly discovering standup was dead. Through fierce determination I got underground stars and dealt with their agents and managers. I was also on Shovio,with people who were well regarded in radio and film as a pro, and they all had big time management. Not to mention this was the year my babies and I were on TLC and a plethora of other outlets, all on our own. Hell I got more air time in one week than someone under the umbrella of the best and brightest gets ever. Fan mail trickled in. I thought at this point I would get quality NYC representation as well as better club spots. Neither happened.

No MANager no cry.

Of course the next year I did a lot. I was a talking head for an online network and began releasing music. My music got internet airplay. It was awesome. I also began steps to publish and release my book. I worked for a minute with a manager in Las Vegas but it didnt end up working out. While a nice guy, I wasnt getting the publishing contract I wanted and my lawyer wouldnt let me sign away my rights. I didn't know what was next.

Somehow I MANaged.

This year I had a song that was number one on the internet for five weeks. There are artists who have management that can't even get airplay. I also had a short in the Manhattan International Film Festival and got that through my own connections. My book has been sold out twice on Amazon and I have appeared on the website of Britney Spears and am being sold overseas. No literary agent or manager. No comedy agent or manager. No record label.

I don't need the MAN or woMAN. I am MANaging quite well.

The biggest misconception is that you need an agent or manager. I have many friends with so called top notch representation who flounder aimlessly in the pond. They collect dust on someone's shelf. They have never been on TV. I have been on TV God knows how many times and no one is helping me. Did I mention I pitched a show to ten networks? None of my signed friends have done that. Maybe sometimes it would be nice to have someone tie up the loose ends but that is not God's plan for me at the moment. Maybe I should chase them but they own a TV. Plus I have no trouble getting on TV thank you. And thank you to my puppet babies.

There are lots of folks who are indie that do well. Yannis Pappas is killing it in the clubs and on youtube with a fan base better than any of the washed up fools on a lot of rosters in the city.

Eddie Brill never had management and has been on Letterman more than any other comic in the show.

Bill Murray never had representation and he has had a career more incredible than anyone who has.

Ani DiFranco couldn't get repped and came to love being indie and eventually got her own record label.

These are just a few.

Maybe if the right agent or manager comes along I will give them a whirl. Plus I won't have to fight with people for money. It's harder being indie but hard work makes success and there is no rest for the weary.  I like it because I call the shots on my career and don't have to be steered in the wrong direction by some MANager who views me as a commission rather than an artist and will waste my time with his money grubbing stupidity.

I don't need a MANager to waste my time.

I am an INDIEpendant WOMAN.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang:Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Available on Amazon

Come to my book signing
December 27 @7
Bethel Park Library
5100 W. Library Ave
Bethel Park PA 15102

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