Sunday, November 18, 2012

Kiss My Ass-Another Fan Encounter

I was walking down the street in my Hell's Kitchen neighborhood when this woman walks by in her leather boots. She was fierce I tell you, Sasha Fierce, Fiercy McFierston. Anyway I complimented her on her boots and she had a male companion with her. He turns around and says, "You're that puppet chick from TLC!?!? I just saw you on TV." WOWSA. JUST SAW ME ON TV?!?!? Sure my puppet kiddies and I have been on the tele quite a few times in America as well as the rest of the planet but I still get warm and fuzzy when I hear it.

"Yes, that would be me." I said sheepishly.

I got Sonny out, the man who lives rent free in my purse. The man who is always trying to pick up women but is never successful. The man who is and always will be a bachelor. The puppet destined to be the 40 year old virgin of our generation. So the girl who is mad fierce begins talking to Sonny. She asks if Sonny thinks that she is cute and Sonny says yes. She asks if Sonny can send her flowers and Sonny says he doesn't pay for women anymore, that they must take him out to dinner. So the girl says this is unacceptable and the only way Sonny can win favor with her is to kiss her butt. Now I don't know what is crazier. The fact that this woman is talking to Sonny as if he were a real man, the fact that I don't know what to do, or the fact her gay friend is getting this whole thing on camera!

"Kiss my ass puppet. You know you want to." She says and points to her derriere. So I know what to do, the camera is on. Sonny kisses her butt.

"Buy me flowers by two o'clock." She commanded and Sonny promised he would. The two walked off into the sunset and I found myself smiling. The whole thing is still cracking me up.

But Sonny is the typical man. Getting physical action and then making promises that he never intends to keep.


I told them to follow me on twitter. Perhaps they will buy my book.

Either way, I am (almost) a superstar. Better ride that cloud. I have a sink that needs Drano and when I get home tomorrow my mother is going to make me cook, clean, and vacuum.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Available on Amazon

No comments:

Post a Comment