Monday, November 26, 2012

Lesser Celeb Sibling of the Week: Aaron Carter

There are some celebrity families where talent runs. For example the Barrymore's have been actors for generations and each talented and sustaining a career. Even the Sheen clan with Emilio, Martin, and while he is currently on and off the rails Charlie. Of course there are the Howards with Ronnie, Bryce and my lovely former classmate Paige.

But there are some exceptions to the rule. One is the Carter Clan. Nick was a Backstreet Boy. He danced and made girls swoon. Then he went to rehab. But my point is, he put the family on the map and knew when to hang up.

Unfortunately his cokehead brother Aaron does not. Mooching off of his brother's fame he made a retarded album as a tween, but the tween girls like it. My point is that he should have just hung it up. But like the Energizer Bunny with Downs he keeps going in the wrong direction annoying everyone. As of late he is not only releasing an album (dear God) but also in the Fantasticks off Broadway. This marginal family member of a once A-lister somehow had enough clout to take that role away from a talented actor. I wouldn't care except he's an obnoxious asshole on the twitter.

He writes:

1. I am not a manufactured artist.

Yes you are. You are a rip off of your boy band brother.

2. Nick is appearing on SNL. Tell the producers to take it easy on the boy bands.

They sing and dance like morons, have no talent, and are overweight at this point. Hell no, they need to be putting the heat on.

3. In our family we stick together.

Yes, because Nick is your meal ticket.

Then the moron went further to block my friend Libby on the McTwitter when she told him that he was in fact a manufactured artist, boy bands need to be worked harder, and he is a lesser celebrity sibling.

Oh and these days Aaron is looking like a big old cokehead. Basically, he looks a lil like Kurt Cobain before the suicide, riding the white horse and the white pony. You don't lose this kind of weight and have this kind of wasting by going to the gym.

Either way, he would have no career if Nick were not your brother. Aaron Carter is a depressing waste of human flesh and reminds us all that success is sometimes about who you know and who you blow. And that the lesser sibling is always the more annoying sibling.

Hopefully he will accidentally wander into traffic and die.

I look like Kurt Cobain, I have the drug problem minus the talent

Enough about this moron. Back to people with actual talent like myself (this is my blog)
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Available on Amazon

Come to my signing
December 27 2012 @ 7pm
Bethel Park Library
5100 W. Library Ave
Bethel Park, PA

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