Tanorexic Mom

This woman not only tans twenty days each month, but brings her kid tanning with her. When the six year old went to school with a severe burn on her arm, the school nurse asked how she got it. The child, "I go tanning with Mommy!"

Even Snooki said this woman was out of control. Snooki telling you that you are out of control is like Charlie Sheen telling you that you need rehab.

I guess the big mystery is, I have had friends and family members who have struggled to have children. They have cried because their womb was barren. But why is it that morons like this have no trouble reproducing en masse. As I always say, the bigger the deadbeat the more potent the sperm. And the bigger the waste the more fertile the womb.

So guys/girls, if you want to have a child and cannot, quit your job and become self-centered. Link up with someone who also refuses to work, preferably who parades around shirtless, and even hits you every once in a while. Make sure they have an alcohol problem too, and that you are both on welfare.

Oh and always, always hit the tanning bed. Make sure your offspring do the same. April out xo

When I die, they will make leather cushions out of my cancer ridden skin. But not before I win Mother of the Year