Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Happy Birthday May Wilson

Yes, May Wilson is seventeen years old again. That is the age I decided she will always be. Today is her birthday. May is out drinking under-aged, partying, being a terrible example to people. I told her to be home at a certain time and she has no desire to comply with the rules. I hate this freaking puppet. Actually, she might be reading the blog. I love this little puppet. What am I kidding? She has been the best side kick ever. She has been with me through my crazy bouts of April being April, break up, and everything else.

I know she is my friend because she says to me, "April, why don't you date a man who has a job for once?"

Happy seventeenth birthday May. You are the worst damn roommate ever whether you are coming home late or bringing home hot men and not letting me join in.

But I will always be jealous of you, not just because you are seventeen forever, but because you are a freaking superstar.

Despite what I say I would be no where without you.

Love Your Roommate and Puppet Master,
PS. Below are photos of May that she says I can show people. She is vain like you would never believe.

May Wilson before her move to New York and before what she refers to as plastic surgery. Yes, she is with Lynn Swann. She made some joke about having jungle fever and he totally rebuffed her. But when he said she was cute that's all May heard. 

May Wilson grossing out the homos at Will Clarke's porno bingo.  Informing the room that not only does she beat herpes when it comes her way, but she does so by jumping in the washing machine. 

Sending illicit photos to Kermit the Frog. In the end, he ultimately dumped  May to go back to that pig. She has never gotten over it. 

May Wilson during a filming. Yes, they took photos with me, but stopped because they recognized the lil stuffed superstarlette. 

May reminded me after this performance that it was she who stole the show, not I. That's when I stuffed her in her suitcase so she wouldn't stop complaining. 

Yes Pips. This is the location where May got her last name, the sirname of  Wilson. So yes, she is May Wilson. She appears innocent but watch out. 

Two girls trying to make it happen. 

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