Friday, May 11, 2012

Rainbow in the Dark (Ronnie James Dio)

I have been hitting a rough patch lately that is physical, financial, and spiritual. For starters, old injuries of mine have been acting up due to the ongoing inclement weather. Financial, April was a hard month and I have been the most broke I have been in a while. Between Easter and Passover falling on one weekend, being injured, and then things just being as they are it has been hard. Spiritual, when you are broke and hurting and hobbling about as your phone is not ringing and nothing is getting better, it's hard to talk about how good life is. Especially when it is raining outside.

Last Thursday, after an event I attended, I had a mini breakdown that was both physical and psychological in some ways. A lot of it was the old injuries were so oppressive that all I could do was barely walk, and they hurt so badly I just started crying. That Friday I couldn't kickbox so I took myself on a date. Saturday I was in so much physical pain that I slept for sixteen hours, and had a sinus headache on top of that. It felt good to get up Sunday, go to church, and then go for a swim. I also selected an independent editor for my book. Then Monday I started cramping up again. Tuesday I sent some emails and no one got back to me. Plus I was just such a physical mess that I forgot my credit cards at home and so much for grocery shopping. Plus some video things I was supposed to do, well I messed them up.

On top of that, my grandfather has been very sick. Truth is, is that my Pop Pop is a spry guy when he is well. Hearing stories of him telling my mom and aunts and uncles about where he was buried was just beyond depressing. Yes he is ninety three and sick, but he is still my Pop Pop. While he is currently on the upswing, Monday night/Tuesday morning my mom was freaking out because he had to be checked into the hospital.

Wednesday, I had the ultimate meltdown. Life was starting to be too fucking much. The worst thing was a guy I dated who was being mean to me when we dated is doing well. It's one more thing to add to the proverbial suck-o-meter.

Plus while work offers were coming in sort of, I hadn't heard from my boss at the telegram company. Something happened a few weeks ago with a client who pulled mad shade. While I have since seemingly redeemed myself, maybe I had gotten another complaint. Not to mention no one was getting back to me as fast as I wanted them too.

Suddenly, as I was as grizzled as I was, the phone rang. My boss. There was someone interested in booking me. Then another company I worked for. Someone also interested in booking me. While both are pending they are a good start and proof that the people I work for don't hate me.  The phone rings again, I booked a pilot Saturday. Then the email thing on my cell pinged, people for a show I have been fighting to be a part of want to see me today. Not to mention the independent editor returned my emails and yipee, she is starting on my book.

There might even be some writing jobs and comedy bookings on the horizon so I am excited about that.

Plus this morning I was jogging along, first time I have done that in weeks, and saw Tim Tebow on a poster whom I have taken a photo with. I saw an addy for Rachael Ray cupcakes, have been on her show. Saw Alexander Wang on a store window, I have delivered a singing telegram to him. Went passed Standup NY, used to be a part of a weekly show there. Point is, although it does not feel like it the universe is conspiring in my favor. It always has.

I know life is like the Wheel of Fortune Card in Tarot. What goes up goes down goes up again. I think I am starting to swing up. For the first time in almost two weeks I woke up not in pain. The sun was shining and life seems okay. I think things are starting to turn around which makes me feel better.They say the only way to get through it is to go through it, part of me wants to say screw that but we all know it's true.

Anyway, I am feeling better and think I will be more positive. I owe my fans that much. Either way, I think the worst is over and it only gets better from here. Can't wait for the release of my ebook, my film to go to festivals, my pilot to get picked up, a chance to be a part of this new show and everything else. Love, April

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