Better Offer

Angry girl poem that I wrote. It was when I made the mistake of going out with someone who I thought was someone honest. Needless to say, men can only be so honest when their best days are behind them and they are washed up. I kick his ass a little in this selection. 

Who is she?

Does she have a name?

Was she number four?

Miss With Her I Always Score?

I know because I was most definitely number five

Actually, I don’t want to know her name

Or what she is about.

But her body is damn sexy,

When she hits your thread count?

But don’t confuse sexy with easy.

You men always confuse sexy with easy.

Lost and having a bad day with sad-

With I need you?

Then you ask, “Can I feed you?”

But the dinner isn’t free?

So you waited some time to crawl back to me.

Two weeks to be exact.

You claim you had been thinking of me all week,

When it was timing you lacked,

As well as a memory.

I know you are used to some damn stupid women-

Who think they are the only one.

Were her legs long and did they wrap around you like a snake?

Was she a hard bodied gym girl or were the ta tas fake?

Was the hair on her head real or out of a bottle?

I know she was the one who had the birthday party.

Yes the one covered in all those tacky tattoos-

You told her she looked amazing in that dress-

Unoriginal I must confess-

You ran that line on me mister.

What was it about her that drove you away?

Not as easy as you had planned?

Did her legs not pry open, instantly spread?

Did she scoff when she easily walked away from your bed?

Or did she give you something that makes you burn when you pee?

What was it about me that drove you away?

I know it wasn’t that I was too needy, I barely called?

Was it that I didn’t call at all?

Maybe I didn’t fall

Madly like the other girls chasing to the ground

Maybe it was that I talked too much?

Or maybe it was because I didn’t fawn

Over your masculine aura and cologne?

My life was so busy I needed to be alone.

Sorry to be an independent woman.

Was it that I wore the wrong clothes?

I wore the wrong shoes that weren’t your style?

That I talked too rough?

I wasn’t pretty enough?

How was she the one who lost my number for?

Whore! Yes that’s what she is.

Easy does it, well she’s easy.

Maybe she was more fun.

She’s also the crossword puzzle everyone has done.

Broken and stupid and contrite.

Wait, why am I slut shaming?

You think you are a Romeo-

Believing women fall to your knees-

Gag me, oh please!

You are not that much to write home about.

The insults should not be hurled at her-

I have never met this woman who stole you unknowingly.

But you weren’t stolen you went you dog.

Not just for a jog-

You lied to the both of us.

I abandon my distain for someone whom I don’t know-

But fire my verbal bullets at you, lying man.

Calling me crazy-

Oopsie daisy.

Escape line of a boy caught with an axe and a cherry tree.

When I am done hating her

I tell you off.

Then you are gone,

The question lingers on,

Why did you stray?

Why did you go away?

Why did you believe you could return?

Like the rain does every spring-

Making my telephone ring.

Tell me Suave Dick, how was she the better offer?

May: April, I think the fact that you are crazy scared him away.
April: But May, guys say crazy girls are better where it counts
May: It didn't help that I was sitting on your shelf with that knife.  Couldn't help I had a callback the next day. 

Wearing my Lucite shoes minus the pole and the man still doesn't want me. I will bring my pasties next time......

Maybe I was too smart for him. Men don't like smart girls.  It makes them realize how dumb they truly are. 

You did not just call me after two weeks of not hearing from you say, "I have been thinking about you all week. " I knew you were a retard. This just confirmed my suspicion. 

Save your stupid lines for your mother, Pal. She is the only one with a  vagina that actually believes your bs.