Monday, January 28, 2013

Adventures With A Nigerian Scammer

A few days ago, as I lie in bed sick, I was messaged by a man from Nigeria. He was one of the many randos I befriended on the good old facebook. Anyway the message exchange went like this.

Nigerian Scammer: Hey.

Me: Hey.

Nigerian Scammer: I am a holy man of God starting a mission and have a diamond mine. I think you should invest your money.

Me: Where are you from?

This is fishy, way fishy. 

Nigerian Scammer: Nigeria.

Me: You're a Nigerian Scammer!!!!

Nigerian: No, I am a minster and a holy man of God. I am a Christian and have a diamond mine.

Me: Well Christian and scammer are one in the same.

Nigerian: I am not a scammer. I have proof. I met your father a year ago when he came over here. Ask him, he knows I am not a scammer.

Wait a minute. My dad is the type who never travels out of the state of PA unless he is visiting NYC for the Heismans, visiting my bro and sis in Providence or going to South Carolina to vacation. My dad never went to Nigeria. SCAMMER!!!!

Me: My dad has never been to Nigeria and will never go. You are a scammer. Admit it right now.

Nigerian: I am a man of God with a diamond mine. Your father helped me establish a school for children.

Me: My dad does a lot of work for kids but he doesn't work with scammers. My dad puts people like you in jail. And you won't be able to message me again because I am blocking you.


I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Available as an ebook on Kindle and Nook
Portion of the proceeds go to RAINN

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