Friday, March 1, 2013

Prince and Pauper Moments

In show business it is a life of extremes. One night you are on television performing for four million people. Then the next night you are in a basement performing for four people who speak no English. It is just the way it is. I remember seeing one guy on Conan and the next week he was back to the grind hitting a mic and then getting ready to do a show. It was pretty cool actually. Or then I saw Kristin Schaal on the street and we ended up chatting. She was headed to an audition. Only days before did I see her on the big screen in the movie theatre.

I have had moments like that in my life and my world. The first was a number of years ago I was working a promotional job. The night before I had been a part of a show at StandUp NY. It had been an incredible evening because Nick DiPaolo had stopped in as well as Dustin Ybarra (Congrats man!). Anyway, the show was one of the most successful at the club and basically as a result I got VIP treatment. So the night before had been awesome, especially since JD Shapiro, writer of Robin Hood: Men in Tights had been a guest judge. Well the next day I was doing promos. It was cold out and I was not feeling so good. Plus this girl next to me was just running her mouth about nothing. Next thing I know this woman passes and says to me, "I saw you last night. You were very funny." I asked her how she recognized me. She smiled and replied, "I recognized your voice. Let us know when you are performing next."

The second prince and pauper moment would come months later when I was performing on the street in Brooklyn. My puppet children and I were doing our thing when I was approached by someone who asked, "Were you on Rachael Ray?" I said yes. She said, "You and your girl were very funny. Fuck Jerry Springer." It made me feel McAwesome to say the least.

Another moment like that was when I had three dollars to my name. I was hanging out with my friends and another buddy was there. He was a construction worker and big comedy fan. Anyway another one of my friends mentioned she performed comedy and all. This dude asked what I did and my friend said, "She has a puppet." That's when the dude did a double take and asked, "Your puppet looks like you, right?" I said yes and laughed. And then I had a picture I showed him. This guy said, "I recognize that puppet. You were on Last Comic a few years ago, right?" I was like yes, wowsa!

Of course then there was the commercial for Jeff Foxworthy. I didnt even know I made the cut until I was headed to the ATM and discovered I had fifty cents to my name. After I discovered a surprise twenty dollars in my pocket I was brainstorming on ways to live off of it. Anyway, I decided to hit the gym in order to deck something before I spent my money. That's when the folks at my gym were like, "We saw you on TV with Jeff Foxworthy. That was so funny. We were like, 'We know her!'" Needless to say I felt better. Not to mention I booked a McAwesome job the next day.

I wouldnt have one of those for the next eighteen months but 2011 were full of them. Walking down the street my puppet children and I were recognized, most often when I was headed to deliver a telegram. Of course my vids got me recognized as well. But one time I was delivering a telegram. I had waited in the cold and my hands were freezing off. It was for an Italian American family, tough as they say. Anyway, after I delivered the lady was like, "You are the puppet girl." I was like yeah. She said, "You should do that. You are really good. You have a gift for them." AWESOME!

Of course the best was when I was using a restroom on the road and it was sort of run down. Anyway I was finishing my business and these two ladies were talking about "that puppet girl from TLC." I was like wowsa, I hope they don't see me here. I have no makeup and this is a rundown public restroom. I mean, I wouldnt have minded, but if we are going to do a photo lets do it somewhere that SKANK isnt written on the wall.

The other day I was doing a show and was talking to a lady beforehand. She asked if I had ever been on TV and I said yes. Then she said she knew she had seen/heard me somewhere because she recognized my voice. I told her the same thing happened to me at a friend's birthday party where his friends recognized my voice as well. Then we joked that I better not prank call anyone. *call back!*

Of course the last two days have been full of Prince and the Pauper Moments. I went to the drug store and saw a product that I did the publicity for via internet in the early days with my puppet babies. Anyway, I got to deliver a Marilyn Monroe telegram to the CEO of Barnes and Noble. The contact was the person who was in charge of Nook Books. Well there is this book on Barnes and and Nook that is called I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl.

So that is the hi diddly dee, an actor's life for me. Yes, it is Prince and Pauper. One of these days I dream of seeing myself on television, but first I have to get the money to buy one. One of these days I will lay in a big ol' Queen Sized bed but I have to have the money to buy one too. Not to mention I will arrive in the limo as well, bright pink. Oh shit, that costs money too. Damn, well there are people who think I have these things. Well I am flattered. I have these things in my mind.That is the first step.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang:Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback 877-Buy-Book,
Ebook Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available in Spring 2013
Portion of proceeds go to RAINN

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