Saturday, March 30, 2013

A Sweet Story

My grandmother recently passed. I miss her because she was so funny. I wasn't in town for the funeral but am in town this week. The first holiday without the deceased loved one is always the hardest. Anyway, we were talking about who was at the funeral.

Some of my aunt's former boyfriend's came, they had jobs and treated her kind so of course she wasn't marrying them anytime soon. Then my uncle's former girlfriend came and made things interesting with this wife, but alas, we don't like his wife. And then my great aunt's ex husband who cheated on her showed up. He still comes to family reunions despite the fact everyone hates him. Maybe he wants free food, I dunno.

One surprise visitor was in fact my cousin whom I will call Deke. A prep school kid, Deke was a tad bit spoiled. Not that my idiot aunt and her husband who claimed to make an obscene amount of money helped. Anyway, Deke had wanted to go to a party and his parents didnt let him. So they were in the car arguing and that is when Deke jumped out of the car. He suffered brain damage, and lost his ability to taste spicey food. And not to mention got some serious anger management issues. Shortly thereafter, Deke had a girlfriend who was stupid and spoiled like he was. Well she wanted to break up and Deke was not hearing of it. Brain damaged, Deke somehow got a hold of a gun and held her hostage for several hours. The authorities did not look kindly upon this and locked him up. I know, it's just a felony right?

Well my aunt being a neglegent mother said it was the criminal gene, not her shiteous parenting. They emancipated Deke, not just to wash their hands of him but to save money because in the state of PA the families have to pay for the incarcerated kiddies.

Well Deke got out, got a new girlfriend, and had a baby. The child is currently missing one foot. But Deke has grown up. He supports the child by working part time as a used car salesman and part time as a lab test subject.

I met Deke a few times. While he is obviously insane and I would probably never actually let him know where I live, he seemed nice enough.

Deke came to the funeral. Anyway the story he told was that when he was locked up no one wrote to him. His parents washed their hands of him. But there was one person who remembered him. That was my grandmother. She sent him several letters a week. Deke often looked forward to my grandmother's letters. Not only because they were funny and sweet, but also because it meant someone on the outside was there for him, wasn't judging him. It meant that he still mattered. Sure, his own mother didnt want him. His father was useless. His other brother was a goofball. The youngest, the so called brain, went to school on ROTC and never speaks to his family, wonder why, but my grandmother let Deke know he wasn't a bad person trying to get good but a sick person trying to get well. And for as crazy as Deke is and for as much as he barely has it together, he remembered my grandmother's kind deed. He knew what it was like to be down and knew my grandmother was a friend. And a friend is someone who is kind to you when life isn't.

I guess that's why I write to my buddy in jail (I haven't been good because I have been busy) and even paid him a visit. It's because maybe he made his mistakes with drugs but in the end, he is still my buddy. He still has a good heart. He took a wrong turn. We all take wrong turns. But there is a difference between a bad decision and a bad person. I think my grandmother knew that. And I think that's where I get that from. My boy said he would never forget me visiting him in jail. Now I believe him. I hope he doesn't have to go to my funeral to tell the story though. But my mother would probably have a heart attack if any one of us told her. Sigh....


I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available on itunes and Audible this Spring
Portion of proceeds go to RAINN


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