Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Myself and Myself (Romeo Void)

I have been doing the whole spring fling thing. Well not really. Out of no where I find myself crushing and dating again. It is all so weird. At this point in my life I thought it would be better, easier, more fun and less stress but I am so wrong.

I have been talking to a lot of guys and for once they are all nice and have jobs. But guys make me so skiddish. It is like I am thirteen again. Suddenly I don't feel like an accomplished career woman living her dream but rather a weird girl with puppets. One guy I sort of turn red around, well I see him at least once a week. Before it was like I went in and whatever. Now it's like, "Does he notice I have coffee breath? Does my hair stink from the night before even though I washed it? Oh and does he notice I gained three pounds?" On top of that what does he think of my career?Does he know people recognize May Wilson from TV? What does he think of my singing? God I wish it were better? Does he think I am funny? Did he read my book? Is he amazed at my ability to write or does it make me weird?

It all makes me weird I decided.

I mean on the downside I am not some stupid ho with big boobs who is brainless. Guys prefer that don't they?

I dunno. It is all so complicated. They say they love you and then they leave you for some tramp that is easy. They say they want to spend time with you but really are still hung up on an ex. Or they just lie about everything. Yeah they are easy to get but hard to hold on to, like a banister smeared in butter, slippy.

On the flipside they make you play guessing games. Does she know I like her? Does she know I want to know her better? Does she know I want to take her out and blah blah blah and then when you don;t know it is all your fault.

I think I will stay single. No guy can tell me I am unfunny. They can't tell me my singing sucks. They can't tell me my writing sucks. They can't take my puppet children away.

But single gets lonely

But men are so complicated.

Is there ever an easy answer?

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available at 877-Buy-Book, Amazon.com
E-Book available at Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available in the Spring of 2103
Portion of proceeds go to RAINN

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