Sunday, April 15, 2012

Modern Love (David Bowie)

This Saturday my friend Jennifer Troiano from high school married her fiancé Tiffany Sherbondy in Central Park. Yes, Jenn and Tiffany. What I am trying to say is that it was a lesbian wedding. Jenn and Tiff had been planning this affair for sometime. Jenn and I had been friends in high school. We were different then it seemed, but I still loved her to death.
I remember when we were in high school. She was dating a guy named Cougar. I would see Jenn at Cougar’s house chilling. She was much too good for Cougar of course. The thing I loved about Jenn was she was always a true friend. Always had my back. When prom time arrived and I didn’t have a date Jenn took matters into her own hands. She said to our friend Zakk, “You are going to the prom with April.”
Zakk, scared than Jenn was going to beat his ass said, “I already have a date. But my friend Tim doesn’t.” So I went to the prom with Tim, who adopted my friend Whitney as his date because her original date had been a jerkoff who abandoned her. And we had a great time.
After high school I moved to NYC, and Jenn and I sort of stayed in touch but didn’t. Then it all changed with the advent of facebook. Anyway, Jenn and I reconnected. That’s when I found out about Tiff. I quipped, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you that the last time we spoke you were dating guys.” Jenn and I got a good laugh.
Tiff proposed to Jenn and got her the most beautiful, pink diamond in the world. Jenn in turn did a drag king act at Link where she proposed to Tiff. I followed this all everytime Jenn messaged me on facebook. She then told me they were coming to NYC to get married. I was like wowsa.
So yesterday was the wedding. Because the limo driver they hired was rather inept, I sat in the park chatting with the interfaith minister who was the master of ceremonies. The Reverend Peluso told me about all the crazy weddings she had done. During our wait for the limo it seemed would never come, she showed me photos of a pirate wedding she had done. I was like wow, this is so cool. The Rev and I talked about love and life as we waited for my friend and her future partner to arrive.
Just then, Tiff arrived. Apparently the limo driver had no idea where Belvedere Castle was. In a tizzy, Tiff was ready to get married as her best men arrived. One was her gay friend who performs in drag under the name Trixie Treat. Another was another gay friend of hers. Then there was a friend of Jenn’s. I met Tiff’s family who seemed excited about the wedding. Heck, we were all excited.
Then a little after, finally, Jenn arrived with Sherry her maid of honor as well as her parents. It was wedding time. Jenn looked amazing in her red and white dress. Jenn being Jenn had her hair a combination of red and a little blonde, and Jenn being a tattoo artist had some impressive body art. The wedding then went off without a hitch. Reverend Peluso did a marvelous job as she did the ceremony. She made each say the vows and then they put the sand in the jar, one black and one red, to symbolize a life together.
As each girl did their vows they started crying. First it was Tiff, then Jenn. I guess being used to straight weddings I am just used to the bride crying. But both were crying. Women, we are creatures of our emotions sometimes. However, for as much of a surprise as it was, it was also beautifully refreshing. Both these women had come such a long way. Both these women had been through so much just to have this beautiful day with their families in the park. For many straight couples, this is a guarantee they take for granted and often times abuse. For these girls it was a dream come true.
After the ceremony, we piled into the limo and went down the street to have the reception. I got to know some of Tiff’s friends. Two were nurses, and one had worked at a nursing home where my brother and I had volunteered. One worked in a bank and the other worked for a debt collector before getting laid off. Then one of Jenn’s friend’s sat with us. His girlfriend hadn’t been thrilled he was coming to the wedding because of her fear that he would get drunk and hook up with someone else. I guess gay wedding, straight wedding, there is always a girlfriend with that fear.
During my time with the folks at the table, many of whom were LGBTQ, we talked about the various Pride Parades and the adventures/misadventures there. One guy had gone to London Pride and described it as skanky yet fun.
In Western, PA fashion there was an attempt at the cookie table. I thought it was a kitschy throwback to the weddings I went to as a kid. Although the cookie table didn’t catch on I was like, “Hey!!!”
Like more traditional weddings, there was the throwing of the garter and the tossing of the bouquet. Tiff took off the garter with her teeth, and I ended up catching the bouquet. Meanwhile, I almost got married as a kid. Maybe this next time I will find a husband with a job. I made this announcement to a full house who laughed. When the guy who caught the garter, the one with the jealous girlfriend, put it on my leg, they wanted to post the pics to facebook but we agreed it would be bad. We didn’t want to see him in hot water.
But he did have a job.
Then came the toasts. Jenn’s parents made a wonderful toast, as did the maid of honor. However, Trixie Treat out of drag stole the show with his mini standup act. The highlight line being, “The people working here want us to get the fuck out because they want to leave. And even though everything is being paid for tip anyway!”
After that, we had cake. It was delicious. Afterwards, the rest of the wedding went back to the hotel, and I had to go home because I had an early morning and things to do. Nonetheless, it was fun. A lot of fun.
I think Tiff and her ability to crack the whip will be good for my wild child friend. Plus we said Tiff needed to put a bell around Jenn’s neck to keep track of her. Plus they just purchased a place. This is all good.
In the end, although people acknowledge the novelty of a lesbian wedding, it’s really no different from a regular wedding. I realized this as we clinked the glasses when the Tiff and Jenn kissed. A wedding is the joining of two people in love for a life together. Jenn and Tiff are two people in love journeying down the road to happy destiny together.
To Jenn and Tiff, may the joy be abundant and the bumps in the road be minimal. Congratulations ladies and good luck on your life together.
Yes there will be photos to follow.

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