Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Luxury of a Crush

This is when the whether gets warm and I get crazy. Okay, not quite. My Bo and I have been planning our misadventures and exploits. Of course my friend JR will be out and about so maybe we can get ourselves in trouble with a basketball team or two or three. In there I so hope to perhaps screw up my life and make some mistakes like I always do.

I was expressing my feelings today and wowsa.

Saw the idiot I was crushing upon and he has yet another new girlfriend. Now he has totally weirded out towards me and I dont understand what I did. I thought he liked me and he sent all the signals that he did. And then he started seeing this nasty thing. And then he dumped the nasty thing and now is onto someone new. I was hanging out with them all like three days ago and he got totally McWeird Weird on me.

I mean like way weird.

Anyway, we got to talking and he was like totally trying to get me off of him like I am some virus and he was a gay man in the AIDS crisis. It's like Pal, please do not flatter yourself. You are cute but not that cute. You are good at what you do but not that good at what you do. Not to mention you are so smart you didnt even know what Mensa is.

And then speaking of gay men, most of my friends are homos as you all know. And now that the recording for my audiobook is done my Sundays are free again to roll with my homos. So this dude proceeds to say some homophobic smack and just starts trashing my gays. I am like excuse me, denial much? And then he has the nerve to tell me I need a boyfriend. After he tells me I need a boyfriend and smack talks my gays he disappears to take a call from said girl who turns out one of my gays knows and is a total trash pit. Either way, his rejection is God's protection. I have outgrown this crush like old knickers. Looking back I was too good for him anyway!

The luxury of a crush though is that in your mind, your person is what you want them to be. He is like Mr. Potato Head. In my mind this guy was sweet because he appeared to be sweet. In my mind he liked me because I liked him. And not to mention he was sending signals that didnt dispute this. Maybe it was a long winter and I was lonely. I have been wrong before.

Once upon a time I was wrong and in high school my crush who seemed like he wanted me wanted someone else. We are still friends and he has actually seen me perform a few times. Nice guy, but it will never be anything more. The next time was first year of college and he was an upperclassmen who was throwing the love signal in my direction. I humiliated myself as a result and then forgot about him. But years later, after lots of stuff happening we crossed paths and talked. I thought we were fine and next thing I know the jerkoff is telling a terrible story about me online.

But the thing was, in my mind both were perfect. So the luxury of a crush is he can be Prince Charming. He is the greatest guy ever. But once he becomes himself-a real human guy-it is all over. Bottom line, dreaming is free as Blondie says. And of course he made me tea and was kind. It was all an act. And scene....

Here is the next act. There is a guy who just started at the studio I am recording at that is mad cute.  I think he picked up on the fact I was macking on him. Oh gosh.....better stop while we are ahead Miss April. Okay, he is the next crush. Ooops, already over that. Spring is making me CRAZY!

Maybe my ex crush is right. Lets me get a boyfriend or two or three...

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available on itunes and Audible this Spring
Portion of proceeds go to RAINN

No comments:

Post a Comment