Monday, April 1, 2013

Baby Cousins

Yes, I am one of the older girl cousins in my family. To figure out my family you need a calculator. My father is the second of seven, my mom the oldest of six. In my dad's family, each person averages about 3.3 children I suppose. I mean, my dad has three. My aunt has two. My uncle has three. My other uncle has four. One of my uncles has three, and then my aunt has two. The only one that didn't have any kids was Aunt Margaret, RIP. But she was a Godmother to three of the kids. In that mix we kind of absorbed my aunt's sister (uncle's wife's) familia and my other aunt's family on occasion. So I have cousin in laws which is kind of crazy kool.

My baby cousins are all growing up so quickly. They are doing good things with themselves. One is going to Case Western and is a member of a fraternity. As an officer, he is growing his hair so he can shave an arrow in it. I think he is a good kid but I wish he were using his time a little better. On the other hand, he studies hard and got good grades. I will allow the arrow.

His brother is going to St. Francis to play football in the fall. He is already planning his prom with some girl. They are going as friends. I am happy about this. If it were a boyfriend/girlfriend thing it would be much too intense. He is making plans and he better hurry. But being a young guy he is waiting until the last McSecond.

His youngest brother is playing baseball this spring. I am happy about that. This particular cousin is good and has the goods to go pro. But he has been doing pull ups in anticipation for football. Man is he growing up quick.

In the basement my mom was showing some of my little cousins to lift weights. I would have to say the two cousins who are adopted and close in age-a month apart-are good kids. They are doing well in school and learning to lift. The one always has his bestie there. They are joined at the hip. However, his bestie was with his family.

The youngest of that crew was showing me her instagram photos that she took. On her instagram was a photo of her boyfriend. So far at ten she has a cellphone and a boyfriend. I know, damn kid has more of a life than I do. These days I have to swear less in my status updates because my baby cousins are reading my page.

The cousins and the spliter half and baby cousin in laws and various other relations begged me to tell them scary stories yesterday. There are so many little cousin in laws and everything else at this point doing the math is just difficult especially since I am God awful at math. Anyway, when I was telling them the stories I had to be careful what I said. I couldnt say, "And then there was a dead hooker's ghost that ran down the stairs because the theatre used to be a brothel." Then it would be a very color discussion about how their older cousin taught them the definition of the words hooker and brothel and other advanced lessons. AWKWARD!

During our scary story session, their idea by the way, they kept telling me, "Scarier, more blood." And I told them, "Yes, and when you can't sleep your mother is going to be ticked at me." I wanted to use the word pissed but they are too little for that. Plus you have to be respectful of children.

And then they begged, "Scarier, more blood. Tell us about the Green Dude in the tunnel!" And for the record, they are referencing the Green Man, a famous Pittsburgh scary character.

And after that they commanded, "Tell us about the murderer with the hook!"

Finally my baby cousin took over and told this scary and horrible story about a toddler's family murdered by a ghost. Here I am trying to make sure that these children can sleep and they are more disturbed than I could ever believe. But it made me chuckle. Perhaps kids can handle more than we think.

It is a charming paradox. On one hand, they waited patiently for the Easter Bunny and begged their parents to go to the mall for the photo. On the other hand, they want more blood, guts, and gore. I dunno, kids these days.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available on itunes and Audible this Spring
Portion of proceeds go to RAINN

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