Yesterday I was to deliver a bikini gram in Midtown to a kid
for his 14th birthday. The mother was a nice enough lady. While I
thought this was a little extreme to give a kid she meant well. I got a glimpse
of the kid coming in. He was kind of impish and red headed, dorky kind of. Lets
just call him Micah. Anyway, the mom wanted to wait until all the guests came
and then I would deliver the telegram.
Well I get changed and everything is ready to go. I walk up
to Micah and he is less than thrilled. He says, “Stop it now.” And then starts
covering his face. I strip to a bikini and ordinarily the guy on the receiving end
is thrilled but Micah screamed, “You got your paycheck. You earned it. Please
put your clothes back on.” That is when he gets up and storms into the
restroom. Not what I expected.
Micah’s parents are thrown for a loop and were not expecting
this. According to Micah’s mom he is a little bit of a control freak and likes
to have the upperhand in all situations. She also tells me she owns a high end
lingerie store and wants to know if I want to model. I say sure. She seems like
a cool enough lady. I just don’t think her kid was ready to be sassified.
Micah’s cousin went into the restroom to try to retrieve him.
No such luck. Then his other cousin grudgingly went in. No such luck. Then his
dad went in. No such luck. I decided to go in and try to deal with the kid. I
mean, he was pretty upset and I didn’t understand why. I went into the restroom
and throngs of gentlemen had to pee and were pissed they were waiting. No pun
intended. This is how our convo went.
Me: Micah? Micah? You okay?
No answer
Me: Micah, I have my clothes back on. We can talk.
No answer
Micah: Leave me alone!
Me: Okay, but are you alright? Do you want to talk about
what is wrong?
Micah: My mom did something stupid and inappropriate.
Me: Why was it stupid and inappropriate?
Micah: She is always doing stupid and inappropriate things.
All I wanted to do was have lunch.
Me: Well you can still come out and have lunch. Everyone
misses you.
Micah: Leave me alone.
Me: I still don’t get why you are upset.
Micah: You don’t get it. You are just like my mom always
asking so many questions.
Me: Welcome to the wonderful world of women son. We are all
like that.
Micah: You did your job. They paid you. Please go!
Me: Fine. I have things to go. Good luck with everything.
Micah’s parents apologized perfusely and tipped well. I
might even get a modeling job out of this whole thing. Who knows? Eventually
Micah did come out of the bathroom after his uncle extracted him. Still, after
this whole thing I heard the song by Clarence Carter, you know “Strokin.”
Perhaps he would have set Micah straight and that little red head would have
embraced his secret pimp skills. Sigh, at this stage in his life he just has
sexual uncertainty and pimples. God bless.
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook
www.youtube.com/aprilthestarr
Portion of proceeds go to Greenpeace
April you're awesome. LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks LOL. That was wild. Its nuts how I dont make up my life xo
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