Sunday, October 14, 2012


It has been a busy weekend. It is a bad thing because I am tired, but it is a good thing because I am MAKING MONEY. Friday I was Marilyn on Long Island and then I did an awesome show with awesome comedians at Broadway Comedy Club. Yesterday I was starting to feel the heat of a long week. It was long Sunday last Sunday where I did an errand in Queens and then got onstage. Then Monday brought delivering a singing pickle and performing at night. Tuesday was auditioning for a puppet show, getting my book into the store, and appearing on CFR with my boys which meant not one but two trips to Jersey. Wednesday was pure work and stalker drama. Thursday was a falling out with a booker, drama with Marilyn transportation and finally a radio appearance. Friday was Marilyn in LI and then an awesome show in which I sold two books. Saturday was the singing chicken at Kessler.

It was in West Orange which means its not a hop, skip, and a leap. It's a bus trip. I took the subway, PATH, and then the bus. Everyone was nice to me. But when I got on the bus, for some reason East Orange has a lot of Nigerians. Anyway they wear this freaking perfume, this freaking coca butter crap, and this shit in their hair. Between the three and all the Nigerians getting on at once it started to heat the air up. Plus the bus driver turned on the heat. Needless to say I got car sick. Nothing against Nigerians, but because I didnt grow up around that crap and I dont wear it I am just not used to it. It's more a reflection of me and less of them. Still it made me sick as hell. Plus the bus trip was bumpy, there were a lot of hills and winding roads, and I was leaning forward to make sure I didnt miss my street. When I got out I was SICK.

I walked to the alloted destination, and ended up buying a Poki Mon card from a kid, fire. Anyway, my stomach hurt but the cool air was making me feel better. I jay walked on a busy street before meeting a sidewalk, and then walked up a huge hill getting my aerobic exercise.

The delivery itself was good and the children on the floor sort of held me hostage. My lady had a spinal chord injury. The bottom floor were amputees and the top floor brain injuries. There is something about delivering there that makes me think twice about all the jay walking I do on the regular. Only the day before had I been in an eatery, the hero of the night, and someone said, "Do you know she's a great comic?"

To which my buddy the GM replied, "Yeah, she has been on TV."

The only TV show it was looking like I was going on was the 6 o'clock news, or I was going to end up a patient at Kessler. Welcome to the wonderful world of show business. Friday you are killing and selling books, Saturday you are jaywalking playing Russian Roulette in order to get on that stage. But you are using the gift God gave you to make people laugh. So jaywalking is only a small price to pay and a risk to take because this woman seriously enjoyed her chicken.

However I took a car back. The people at Kessler are great and I was a hit.I can wait to become a patient.

The bus trip back was slightly better. When I got out I thought I was going to die. Needless to say, tums were my bestie. I met a friend in a diner and we laughed about it, and then I got a chance to bump into Maddog Mattern, road stink and all, who gave me a big hug.

Tonight I am Claudette Colbert.

When tonight it over, it is bubble bath time.

Love, April

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl


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