My boss said this week's yoga lesson was detachment. How did he know I needed that? Was he reading my blog?
Anyway, we ended up doing yoga and my attitude towards yoga changed. I have been getting more into meditation this past year. My boss mentioned that I needed to detach from all things that were uncomfortable, and if I detached from the outcome I wouldnt stress about things and it wouldnt be so hard to get what I wanted. My whole life I have been a pusher. That's just who I am. That's probly why I am always so tired.
Well I detached during the yoga practice and it helped clear my head of all the rubbish of the past weeks. From the anni of by boys death to everyone I hated seemingly being facebook superstars. They say to compare is to despair and I had only been despairing hours before. We did some chakra cleansing and that felt good. My mysterious headaches and backaches were gone by the end of the lesson. I will admit, I need to get more patient with myself during my meditation practice. Sometimes I am all gung ho about meditation, but then sometimes I am like screw this granola eating crap. But the granola eating crap, when I do it, helps me balance and is the reason I am grounded and do well
Every acting teacher in the world has told me that breathing is my big weakness. It's why I can't stay in the moment. Number one booker feedback is I need to TAKE A DAMN BREATH BECAUSE I TALK TOO FAST AND THEY LOOSE ALL MY WORDS. There was a time in my singing telegram career that people would complain that my work was too fast, I was in and out. I didnt mean to be so fast. I just operate on hyperspeed. It used to drive my second grade teacher crazy, but it was fitting because she was a crazy bitch named Denise. She said I didnt pay attention. Bitch, I was paying attention. You were on page five taking your good old time. I am now at page 50. BORED! Sometimes though, it is beneficial to stay in the moment. Not only is my acting/comedy/telegrams better but everyone wants to kill me much less.
We talked about how as people we create highs and lows which is so true. When I was younger especially, I used to experience extreme highs and lows. It was either the best day ever or the end of the world. I still do now, but I am better able to balance them and snap out of them. When I was younger I was accused of being conceited because sometimes it truly was the best day ever. But then the next day it was the end of the world. I have snapped out of it as I have aged, knowing this too shall pass. Still yes I am a bit of a melodramatic.
Afterwards we went back to the place his familia keeps in midtown to have nosh. There we met a couple and talked about brain chemistry and how some people have to engage in addictive behaviors to achieve homeostasis. It was quite fascinating, especially since my boss is doing the same thing with yoga. Plus it was crazy because they thought at one point my boss was my husband.
Well we both want a good looking husband.
Meanwhile I had my book with me. I didnt know whether or not to give it to my boss. While it is about him in a way, because Bruce Myles Beaureguard is based on him, I didnt want to give it to him in case he would hate it. But everyone else in the telegram company knows about it and I am presently on Barnes and Noble's website. Plus I have done several interviews. I have also been featured on the website of Britney Spears. I didnt want my boss to hear it from other people. It was time.
Thats when I told my boss I had a present for him. Detachment.
I handed him the book and he was excited. He asked when this happened and I told him everything. He said the book was amazing and that he was sooooooo proud of me. I also told him that a certain character in there might remind him of someone he knew. Needless to say my boss LOVED IT ALREADY AND HE HASNT EVEN READ IT!!!!!
Hope he loves it after he reads it. Either way, I practiced the lesson of the day, detachment.
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl