Thursday, May 23, 2013

Adventures of Spooky Juice: Hell's Kitchen Super

My Super Spooky Juice is at it again. I haven't had an adventure with this upstanding gentlemen since my vacay to Myrtle Beach with my family. Nonetheless, Spooky still wants his sugar. The latest development is that he is deathly afraid of black lingerie and that is why I am trying to invest in it.

Well it is spring and Spooky Juice is more ornery than ever. This is how today's exchange went:

Spooky Juice: You look so good.

Me: Why thank you, Spooky Juice.

Spooky: You look so good that this is mental torture for me.

I laugh

Me: Well Spooky, I am sure I don't look that good. Stop thinking so hard.

Spooky: I have been playing around with this spy cam lately. Want to see?

Me: I am not sure I want to know.

Spooky: Relax it's not pornography.

Me: With you I never know.

Spooky: Look at this guy dancing without music.

Spooky turns on the camera. Spooky is dancing like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

Spooky: See me dance

Me: You are such a bad dancer.

We both laugh

Spooky: What color underwear are you wearing?

Me: Black.

Spooky: If it was black I could see it. Tell me the truth or I won't show you any more of my dancing videos.

Me: Now Spooky, don't make promises we both know you can't keep.

Spooky and I laugh

Spooky: I read your blog. You like being single. You said you wanted a vibrator. Let me be your vibrator, baby.

Me:Thank you for the generous offer but I have to pass.

Spooky and I laugh. End scene.

Truth be told last night some fat drunk dude approached me on the street offering me anal. Spooky was slightly smoother. I will give the man that much credit.

AprilI Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook
Audiobook available on itunes and Audible this Spring
Portion of proceeds go to Greenpeace

PS. Book signing at Brown Bookstore Saturday May 25 from 4-6. Be there or be square

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