Sunday, August 11, 2013

A Bigger Plate

This week has been a busy one in the world of April. I can't even begin to tell you about all the things I have been dealing with. Lets start with I have been BUSY AS FREAKING FUCK. Okay, these are words my mother doesn't like me to use but I went and used them, HA! All week I have been juggling my new hosting gig, the still existing telegram job (Thank God, it pays my bills), filming details for one project and things for two others. Plus I am getting ready to finally delivery my audiobook. It is a blessing because my team is wonderful. Still, it was my phone ringing every five seconds. It's not like I got a moment's rest either.

Last Sunday the day begun when a friend of mine was off his psych meds for bipolar. So during the delusion he got my Booski ended up believing that two people we knew and then a random black dude broke into his home. Apparently he went down to the precinct and filed a report and everything. Did I mention this was before 7 AM. Oh and my mom called me at 5:45 by accident waking me up. So I figured the day had begun, why not? In any event, the way my buddy told the story was pretty funny. I guess I want to know why is it always a random black dude? Then again, my buddy is off his meds, not evil. Well the story ended with him going to the psych hospital, and then coming home so bummed he brought this big thing of food and in his depression ate it all. The best line was, "The only person who's not pissed with me right now is my dog."

I have long ago given up the belief I could have normal friends. It ain't gonna happen. Sigh McSigh. The rest of the day Sunday was spent getting ready to film et al. Monday had some girl drama that I will not get into. The only thing I will say is that the older I get, the more allergic to drama I am. I don't even hate the girlie I had the drama with, I think the unfortunate thing is that the poor child knows no better. But I did a full set with eight of my puppets in Brooklyn. Oh and I also delivered a telegram first thing in the morning. But the day ended with me McMakin and McMackin with a McStud. Oh and I also had to race and run write my column for Sex From Both Sides.

Tuesday saw me doing more stuff for my on camera hosting gig at ITTV. I love the gig and love being in front of the camera. Not to mention some stuff for the project I am filming.

Wednesday I filmed the interview and had a telegram. Plus I talked to the producer of the project I am currently working on.

Thursday I had a project meeting with my business partner and made an ass out of myself at the desired venue. But my new assistant Masimo, a gay kid from Dominica (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic, although both are a butt load homophobic), was a God send helping me with business plans. By the time night came I was tired. I also couldn't enter a contest because of a date conflict but I really liked the lady and want to work with her in the future.

Friday of course was delivering the telegram and more stuff for ITTV events. I was so worn out that I isolated and spent the night in. I ordered sushi to be delivered to my home. Of course I ended up watching Deadly Women, because who can resist a show where men get killed.

Saturday I had lunch with a hot lunch date. I figured I deserved it. However before that I had about three business calls and then had to meet with someone else all before noon. But then of course I went to my business partner/friend's BBQ. He is more like a big brother to me than anything. I love him and his fiance. They are sooooo cute together. He gave me a stern lecture about my choice in men and chastised me for wagging my finger like he always does. I was chilling, having fun, and then my phone just kept ringing with people who wanted shit from me. As I had convo after convo with people on business I missed another friend thrusting a whole Twinkie in his mouth. I just wanted to take the phone and throw it off the damn balcony into the night.

Where would it land? The streets of New York City? On the car of some rich fuck? On the head of some idiot girl who just wanted the idiot husband? Or would it go to space and the fucking Martians would answer?Klatu, Nictu, Baratu, may I help you....

Of course this morning I was on my way to Jersey to deliver a telegram and had to go early as not to miss a train and my mom called me to give me notes on my ITTV interview. As she is giving me notes on my interview I stood up on the train to get off and banged my head leaving me a nice little bump. Of course I let out the following blue streak, "FUCK! JESUS FUCKING FUCK I HATE THESE FUCKING TRAINS, THESE MIDGET CEILINGS AND THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY!!!!!" And then I saw there were children sitting there. FUCK ME!!!!

Then I remembered I am busy because my dreams are coming true. Years ago I was crying because it looked like it would never happen for me. I was lugging myself from open mic to open mic, living on laundry money, and barking for stage time. I would see people with TV credits come in and out and only dreamed of being them but it seemed so far away. I remembered sitting in my unairconditioned apartment writing my book and my then roomie having a nervous breakdown and losing both the friend who inspired me to write again and another friend who inspired me to be myself to drugs. I remembered how much fun it had been to be onstage for the first time in NYC. How cool it was to be on National TV for the first time. How I got my first on the street recognition without even expecting it. How cool it felt to record down the hall from Deborah Harry and see her yappy dogs.

Newsflash, when things start to happen in your life and career, things become hectic. Life becomes full. I used to cry because it seemed nothing would ever materialize. I was so scared of being left in the dust. Now here I am dusting myself off. So the chaos I have is the good kind.

Next week I have my musical stuff to work on, more ITTV stuff, I have to start uploading my audiobook to sell, and then I probably have another writing assignment in there. They say when God/Allah/Universe gives you more than you can handle, you have to ask Him/Her/It for a bigger plate. So here I am, asking for a bigger plate.

A few years ago when I came out of a particularly rough time in my life I got this thing that is still framed in my apartment. It is a little ethnically ambiguous cherub with the words, "When the trials of life seem to be working your nerves and you don't know what to do. Or when it seems you're having so many problems, you've bitt'n off more than you can chew. There's one thing you must tell yourself, when these situations you cannot dodge, I must sit down, calm myself, relax, My God's in charge."

So in times when it feels like I just run around and my feet are falling off, I must remember I am chasing my dreams. From that I must never tire. I must stand up straight for I am an accomplished woman, and when you stand upright the burdens roll off your back. I must tell myself I am too blessed to be stressed, because my dreams are coming true and this is everything I worked for since I was a little girl coming to fruition. Not to mention one hundred want to stab me in the back because of the success I am getting, and thousands want to take my place.

That means I have to stop answering the phone by saying, "What!" when my mother calls. Translated, I have to drop the attitude and be more grateful.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

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