Friday, June 21, 2013

Accidental Grammar Lesson

It's the summer where young guys are out and they think they are smooth. I would say it is the young black and Latino lads, but the not legal white dudes are pretty bold themselves. So here is starts. I am running and have my ear phones on and I see these two kids who are Latino. They could be no more than fifteen. They have their pants sagging and one has a rosary around his neck. I don't take notice because they are both fifty pounds soaking wet and only starting puberty. This is how the convo started.

One says something to me. I take my headphones off. Maybe he is lost.

Me: Excuse me?

Muchacho 1: How old are you?

Okay, he is clearly lost. He is trying to lower his voice and that is the worst pick up line ever! The last time I heard that was when I was 14-15.

Me: Old enough to be your mother.

Muchacho 2: Man, you don't look that old.

Me: Well how old are you? Fifteen.

Muchacho 1: Twenty.

Me: You look like you are fifteen. Let's see some ID.

Muchacho 1: I don't have ID.

Me: Then you are fifteen. I better end this conversation before I go to jail.

Muchacho 1: Miss, we not in Middle School.

Me: Excuse me?

Muchacho 1: Middle school is fifteen. We not in Middle School.

Me: Well since you either failed Middle School or are probably there, if you got anything out of the experience you would know the sentence is, "We are not in middle school."

They both stare at me dumbfounded. I am hardly a grammar Nazi but this is bad even for Ebonics.

Me: Yes, the sentence is we are not in middle school which means you need to maybe go back.

Muchacho 2: We are not in middle school. That sounds correct. I like that. Yeah, we are not in middle school.

So maybe I was able to help someone with their grammar. Perhaps one day this young man will get his GED and stay out of jail.

Muchacho 1: Miss, same thing. We not in middle school.

That is when I say goodbye. I will let these two Muchachos disappoint a woman their own age. Sigh men lie all the time and I would call them dogs. But a dog will never leave you for a prettier owner. And no matter how old they are, they think they are absolutely the cats meow and they think their wand is magic. However, they are funny as hell and never cease to make me smile.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Paperback available on Amazon and 877-Buy-Book
E-Book available on Kindle and Nook, also through Brown and NYU Books
Audiobook available on itunes and Audible this Summer
Portion of proceeds go to Ali Fornay Center

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