Right now I am feeling like I don’t want to do much of anything. It’s the fourteenth day of the new year and I just want to lay in bed, dip my fingers in my bag of Cheetos and get fat. I don’t know what brought this on. Christmas is over. I should be happy. No more worrying about buying gifts or not asking this or that and pissing off whatever family member or friend might be going through a breakup, off their meds or both. It’s weird. I just want to throw in the towel and move to an island of my choosing with six cats. Welcome January, month of nothing, month with no definition, month that has thus far been bi-polar.
This is my second day without a shower. I just had so much to do yesterday and I woke up late. I have no idea why I did that except I was tired, couldn’t sleep, and kept watching Judge Judy on youtube. I like how she puts down deadbeat guys. Deadbeat guys, especially father’s who don’t acknowledge their children let alone support them and men who use women need to be put down. Judge Judy is my new hero I decided.
I have to redo the epilogue of my book. I don’t want to rewrite it. I know it will be easy, fun in fact, onc I do. But I am just tired of fucking doing work sometimes. We live in a world and show business personifies this. Some have to slave to get a little bit while others have the world handed to them. There are those who believe I have the world handed to be. But I know deep within I slave my ass off and don’t know where the payoff is. I know, just talking shit. But I just wish I had an elf to do the typing while I spoke. And then the elf could do the other things I don’t want to do like my laundry and pay my bills. But then my elf slave would call the cops because I am breaking three crucial amendments. Fuck the elf slave.
Then this morning I was getting my coffee. A guy bent over and he had on the low rider jeans as well as the boxers. But the boxers got caught on the jeans and his coat came up so I saw his complete and utter naked ass. This was pressed ham at it’s most slimy. Actually Oliver Twist probably had better meat and he was both an orphan and a street urchin. Bending over once was enough but he kept doing it and I kept seeing his butt. I was like, “Ewwww! Not before I have had my coffee.” I mean the fool didn’t even give me a Starbucks gift card.
Anyway I host my show on younow tomorrow night. In the spirit of upgrading the site has been having some technical issues. So I am keeping the show small in case we have to reschedule. However it will still be fun. The topic is, in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr Day, hopes and dreams for 2012 and how you hope to achieve them. So tune in tomorrow night from 8-10 pm EST on younow.com.
Now it’s time to go to the shower, get ready to be Marilyn Monroe tonight in Long Island, and then as I am running to the train be interviewed for the Paul Price Show. Did I mention I just want to stay home and be smelly? Love April