Wednesday, March 26, 2014

A Letter To Winter

Dear Winter,

I am breaking up with you.

It's not you, it's me. Actually, it is you. You are cold, unfeeling, icy, and abusive. Not to mention you don't care about my thoughts, my plans, my feelings, ME!!! As a matter of fact, we have been over the same things time and time again. At the beginning of March, you are supposed to open up. Be warm. Give us hope. Instead, you promised you would and as usual you LIED!

I tried everything I could to accommodate your terrible behavior. I have changed my plans because you were having a hissy fit and decided to make it snow. I have stayed in when I wanted to go out because you chose to be ten degrees. Oh, and I have done everything I could to put up with you. I wore four layers and a huge coat. I purchased extra hats, gloves, and scarves. When you said you were going to let up, you lied. And then when you said it would be different this year, you lied.

I know you have been through a lot. Yeah, the whole pollution thing destroying the Earth and global warming can put anyone in a bad place. I know it makes you feel unsure and now you have to act all macho because your Mother Earth abused you as a child. But it's not my fault.

We have broken up several times already this year, and you always worm your way back into my heart with your cute snow flakes, the ability to build snow men after snow storms, and not to mention skiiing, but I am over you. Hear me, I am over you. You aren't going to change. You are just going to be your Jack Frosty self.

Go away.

I left your shovels and salt on the sidewalk

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

Come see me for my DVD taping
April 22nd at 7pm
Metropolitan Room
34 w. 22nd st

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