Just Saw This Now

I have been so freaking busy as of late with my book and everything else it seems the phone and emails are getting ahead of me. Whether it is emailing stores, sellers, magazines saying do a story on me and my book or my mother trying to book my Thanksgiving airfare I feel like "AHHHH!!!"

My mom woke me up this morning to book my ticket. She called me six times because she is up at four. I worked late so I got up closer to eight. I thought maybe she thought I was dead. Maybe something had happened to a family member. Instead it was, "When are you coming home for Thanksgiving?" What, you woke me up for this? You could have asked me this yesterday!!!!!!! But it was pretty funny. We got the tickets booked. My mom's my mom. She calls me at any hour but it was pretty damn funny as I said.

Of course there has been some drama in publication land. Whether it is my book being out of stock on Amazon, my ebook running slightly behind schedule or whatever whatever whatever. Then there are the fools who ask me, "How is your book?" Meanwhile they have no intention of buying a copy. I should just start countering it with, "Fine, how are your money problems?"

"How is your court case?"

"How is your loser child that hates your guts?"

If they are truly broke, fine. But don't keep asking about my sales if you have no intent. Seriously, it is in poor taste.

I am a bikini-gram for an old man tonight. I just did a bikini shave. It's amazing how my bush grows with little or no water. I used to raise tomatoes when I was a kid with my parents. They took a ton of water to grow. It's like I shave so I have a nice bikini line and like a thief in the night it comes back like poison ivy ready to ruin my day.

Also saw a hottie in the gym who's so not my type. He is six foot eight and a former swimmer. He's a regular at kickboxing and was a sprinter for Fordham. I think he's cute and quiet. He has no criminal record and no visible track marks. He probably is boring compared to the guys I date, but boring isn't all bad. He is cute. Maybe I will jump in the pool when he is there and pretend to drown. Maybe not.

Where is that liberated woman? Gone for the moment but she'll be back again tomorrow.

Sigh, now to shave them pits.

Love, April

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

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