Saturday, September 22, 2012

Facebook Exchange of the Week

Sometimes, men make me laugh. Whether they are watching sports and yelling at the quarterback like he can hear them, or obsessing over their new cars they are but simple creatures. This simplicity comes out when they deal with women. Men assume women want one thing, and that thing is their penis. In their mind we don't have thoughts or feelings. We don't want to talk or go to the beach. Oh no, we just want to be pounded very hard apparently. As a bonus, they all believe their instrument is the one to do it. Nevermind that the guy next to them has the same equipment and skill set and is just as qualified for the job if not more. Sigh....this is how the following exchange went.

Strange Guy With Bizarre Random Middle Eastern Name: Hey

Me: Hey

Strange Guy With Bizarre Random Middle Eastern Name:Let me tear in with my eleven inch cock

What in God's name makes him think that this is going to be successful, and the only thing that's eleven inches near him is a ruler.

Me: Ok?

I didnt know what else to say, really.

Strange Guy With Bizarre Random Middle Eastern Name: Mmm..is it okay to go down and smell ur undies..then push ur legs up wide in air and lick ur crotch over the undies,then massarge ur clitty round and round in tornado and suck the pussy juice soaking to ur undies

Wow, so much for asking how I am, how my night is going. This man is cutting right to the chase. While it is creepy as hell in a way I can respect that he isn't bullshitting me by pretending to care about my job or my life. WOW!

Me: Nice to meet you too.

Strange Guy With Bizarre Random Middle Eastern Name: Yeah..me too.do u like to have a boob ride with my cock bouncing and jirking in between ur boobs flesh with its sticky pre cum..?

Me: I like long walks on the beach.

This is the part where I beg my mother to take me somewhere safe away from this creepy man who is trying to talk to me on the internet. Wait, man? I went to his page and saw that he was like fifteen. Oh shit, I could get arrested for having his conversation because he would probably tell the cops about his so-called sexual abilities and get us all busted. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Strange Guy With Bizarre Random Middle Eastern Name: What other things do you like when it comes to sex?

Me: I don't have sex. I like church and Disney Movies and the God of my understanding. You should like the same things because YOU ARE ONLY FIFTEEN. NOW GO TO BED AND TURN OFF THE COMPUTER OR ELSE YOUR MOTHER AND I WILL BE HAVING A CHAT YOUNG MAN. I WILL ALSO TELL EVERYONE YOU ARE AVAILABLE FOR CHILDREN'S PARTIES.

Strange Guy With Bizarre Random Middle Eastern Name: I can eat a mad pussy. You should let me sometime.

Me: I believe the Disney Channel is playing Aladdin 2. I believe that is more age appropriate. Good night.

Sigh, men. Such simple creatures. This man needs the assistance of a true player, a gentlemen who tells him in order to be successful with women you just can't be yourself.

Love, April

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

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