Monday, July 9, 2012

Snoop Dogg

When I was a kid I remember it was the age of Tipper Gore and the Parental Advisory Label.  There was Biggie, there was Tupac, there was Puffy, and then there was Snoop Dogg. To me, Snoop Dogg had bad hair and rapped about “smacking up bitches.”  My mother wouldn’t let us listen to him. This was the age where people were getting killed over music, and as I recall Snoop Dogg was involved in a shoot out and was tried for attempted murder. Plus we were the only house on the block without MTV. My parents reasoning was that education was important.
My dad had graduated high school the same time his dad did, because my grandfather had to drop out to support his family during the Depression. However, once my brother began to play football the local channels who broadcasted the high school games were part of a basic cable package. That included MTV. Suddenly, I was no longer sheltered. I began watching all the videos, especially the hip hop vids. In one vid, Snoop Dogg was in a prison suit. I remember telling my dad about Snoop Dogg over dinner. My dad put his fork down, looked me in the eye and said, “Sweetie, those are idiot gangster rappers. They are idiots and they smell.”
That put an end to telling my dad about Snoop Dogg. But my dad would soon get cool. Upon getting MTV, my father discovered Beavis and Butthead and became a fan. At the prospect of them dying, he was mournful, and was the only viewer happy when they lived. One of the videos on the show featured Snoop Doggy Dogg. My dad, viewing this asked, “April, aren’t you a fan of Snoop Dogg? His music isn’t bad.” Then my father attempted to dance. I asked him to please keep this in the privacy of our own home. There is something so unholy about suburban whites dancing to hip hop.
A little while later, I injured my ankle and was bedridden. I ended up watching a biography type program on Snoop Dogg. While I had thought he was just some rapper, he had actually come through a lot to get where he was at. The Dogg won my respect.
In high school, I remember the kid who was my periodic ride home my senior year would blast him amongst other artists in his car. People would say he bad mouthed women. I didn’t mind. He was sippin on gin and juice with his boy Dre. Their bitches got plenty of bling, right?
However, when I was twenty one my attitude changed. I found myself engaged to a physically and mentally abusive man. His mood swings were frightening, and his view of women just stone aged. While every woman was supposed to be chaste in his opinion, he had dated a slew of strippers. My ex was not supportive of the comedy, because it meant I would be funnier than he was. My ex demanded I stop with my puppet children because he felt they distracted me away from him. Then the fights got violent. He tried to kill himself in front of me, the list goes on. After we broke up he stalked me, told his friends he wanted me dead and now I have a separate mailing address.
Needless to say, after he drew a cartoon of me mangled on the internet, listening to songs by artists like Snoop Dogg was out of the question. They were too triggering. Yes, it was just music. But somehow it made my stomach turn. Didn’t guys know casually referring to a woman as a bitch was a bad thing?
As time went on, I sort of softened my blade. Plus I was flyering for a time at a strip club and Snoop Dogg had been a guest at the owners birthday party. I asked the girls if the Dogg had been fun to party with and they said, “Oh yes, only the best.”
Around that time listening to Snoop Dogg got to be easier too. I began to realize the music wasn’t about me or directed at me. It was just music. My ex was a troubled human being in need of counseling. There was no correlation whatsoever.
Fastforward some odd years later. Since my book went to print, while I was on the pink cloud there has been some blue in my life. My dad is getting surgery and my grandfather is sick. The telegrams are picking up, but one didn’t go so hot today. It wasn’t my fault. It was more like the client sent something that wasn’t so appropriate, got scolded, and called my boss and scolded him. My boss seemed to understand, but I just hate disappointing him. Plus as of late I have been doing so well on the job.
Walking home, my legs began to feel like jelly. Just then I saw my friend Kyle and his girlfriend Joanna. We talked for a bit and then Kyle relayed that he had a plane to catch. Then walking down the block was the Doggfather himself. He was with a girl with designer, long, press on nails and a stocky sort of guy. They were just meandering about it seemed.
I ran up to him and I said, “Excuse me, are you…”
“Yes I am Snoop Dogg.” He said finishing the sentence.
“I am such a fan!” I screeched unintentionally. It’s one thing being at my level, but this man was a real deal celeb.
Snoop smiled gently and thanked me. He’s probably used to crazy white women.
“Arent you supposed to be in LA smoking chonic?” I asked.
“Why do I have to be in LA? I go everywhere, and chonic is everywhere.” Snoop explained.
 I said that I appreciated him talking to me and even made a joke about how he somehow assumed I wasn’t crazy. Snoop laughed and his stocky companion shouted, “Security!” jokingly.
We walked a few more steps and Snoop Dogg said, “Sweetheart, we need to take a photo so your friends will believe you.” Then we snapped a pic. Snoop and I then talked a little about being ajoined under the same star sign. He is a Libra too. Libra men are diplomatic flirts with a girl in every port. But they are honest about it. Snoop Dogg’s female companion then shot the photo of the two of us.
Snoop then asked what I did and I pulled out Officer E. He laughed when he saw the puppet. I know, this is a man who has seen shootouts. Then I told him about the telegrams and the book I had written. Snoop Dogg then asked if I got paid and I said I did but I wish I got more. Like Snoop Dogg money. Snoop laughed and said, “With Snoop Dogg money comes Snoop Dogg problems. But just keep doing what you are doing and it will happen.”
I thanked him and then handed him my card in case he wanted to find me. I mean, he probably wont but hey. I told him that if he didn’t find me to please recycle. Snoop Dogg said, “I most certainly most be recycling. I am putting this in my wallet.”
Snoop then put his card in my wallet. I hugged him goodbye, and felt as if I had made a new friend of some sort. It felt good. It also felt good to know that there was a soul behind that music and it was purely for entertainment. Now when I listen to Snoop Dogg, it will be different. Not only because I do like the Doggfather, but also because I met the man and liked him. He is way cool.
Right now he is smoking a blunt telling his friends about the tripped out white girl he met on the sidewalk of NYC. He might be googling me. He might be frightened of my videos.
Eh, this man has survived shootouts. He might have a chuckle. Who knows, maybe there is a duet in our future. Hey, let an almost superstar dream.

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