Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Skinny Part 2

The day following my comedy show, I returned to the Skinny Bar and Lounge to do a singing telegram. The evening before I had met the owner Sean Jarrell. My boss had booked the telegram that Tuesday, and I when I met Sean the night before I thought, “Is this the guy I am singing to? Oh I better not say anything.”
A little background on the night before. During the show, there was a guy sitting behind me that looked like the overfed twin of Wyclef Jean. He kept tapping me on the shoulder. When I would look back he would deny it. He did this over and over again until eventually I didn’t turn around. I wondered if a note would follow that asked, “Do you like me? Check yes, no, or maybe.” With game like this, I had a feeling the only girlfriend this man had lived on his right hand and went by the name Palmela.
Finally, I was starting to have enough of this moron. When he had the nerve to ask me out by saying he wanted to write a song about my legs, I told him off. Sean Lynch and Sean Jarrell both stepped in and told this man to get a life, and to watch the show. This little school boy was facing off against real men. This moron retreated and left the bar.
Thank God for small miracles.
Sean Jarrell later told me that the irony was, this idiot wanted to produce a show of his own. What was the theme of the evening going to be, Jackass meets Forty Year Old Virgin?
The following night I was booked to return to the Skinny. The telegram I was to deliver was to be a cop. I was to go in pretending that I was preparing to strip for him. Just when Sean thought he was going to get a stripper I would break out into song and totally throw him for a loop. Would Sean remember me? Or would his view be obscured by the cop costume? Hard to tell. Either way, I was still high from the great week I had been having. Sunday I had been a part of the Pride Parade and dance the night away at the Pier Dance as a guest of Eddie Baez. Monday I had sent my book off to print. Tuesday my friend Eduardo and I exchanged friendship bracelets. Wednesday had been a great day of filming with Sean and an awesome night at the Skinny.
What would part 2 bring?
I met Emily the contact and the bouncer showed me to the back to change in my cop costume. I got my hat, gloves, sunglasses, cuffs, and was ready to go. When I came out I saw Sean working behind the bar. Emily and the rest of the crew had their cameras out. I walked up to Sean and said, “Is this Sean Jarrell. You are under arrest for being too old to work behind the bar.”
The whole place gasped. They believed they were going to get a stripper. I removed my hat, my sunglasses, and my gloves and took my hair down and shook out my head. Sean, apparently seeing his wife was only feet away, was having second thoughts about this whole thing. He said, “I don’t know about this..”
That’s when I started singing and the whole place erupted into laughter. In a way, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. While a stripper would have been a birthday surprise, these people weren’t that type of crowd. They were more fun loving, not dollar bill throwing and horny. I sang a few more songs to Sean as the rest of the place was having a good time. That’s the wonderful thing about my job, is not only am I a surprise but I bring smiles to people.
When the telegram was over, I asked Sean, “You thought you were getting a stripper didn’t you?”
That’s when Sean revealed he knew he wasn’t getting a stripper because he had recognized me all along! The truth then came out as Sean and I told his wife Emily about the night before. Not only was I one of the comedians but Sean had been my knight in shining armor against the idiot who kept harassing me.
I had two adventures for the price of one at the Skinny, good times.
As I left I let the moonlight guide my path to the train. While May was filled with career doubt, June was feeling better. A palm reader on the street told me June and July would be better months for me and to take a chill pill.
Perhaps I should listen to women with a bad fashion sense and crystal balls more often.

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