Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Mama Foxx's Mail Bag

Dear Mama Foxxx,
I am a seventeen year old senior in high school. I am the captain of the football and track team as well as an honors student. A lot of my guy friends play sports too. The thing is, they all talk about the girls they are having sex with. I don’t know how these guys are doing it. The worst part is, these guys speak about these women like they are pieces of meat which is ultra disrespectful. I don’t know how they are doing it. The other day they questioned me about my sex life and I told them it was none of their business and they made fun of me. What’s wrong with me? Should I be a bigger pig? How are these guys scoring and I’m not. Help! Signed, Sleeping Alone

Dear Sleeping Alone,
You want to wonder how these guys are getting some? The answer is in their dreams. It’s like fiction, the more a guy brags about who he has sex with the less likely it is happening, unless his girlfriends are named Jill and Palmela. And you are right to have your stomach turn. Young, ignorant, inexperienced guys can be highly disrespectful. And the next time they question you about your sex life and make fun of you tell them, “Well it is none of your business, but since you ask I do date and sleep with real women. Then again, you wouldn’t know about that since you go to Fun World in order to buy your dates.” Needless to say that will shut those young squires up. And the only reason they are doing this anyway is because they want to be Bravo when meanwhile they are more like Beavis and Butthead. Another thing, a guy like you is rare: smart, athletic and wants to treat a girl well. Keep that up Prince Charming and your black book will be breaking the binder while these morons will look on in envy. Love Mama Foxxx
Dear Mama Foxxx,
I have seen you on TV and have followed your career and am a fan. You have the courage to be yourself no matter what the hell anyone says which is beautiful. Much like you I am an artist. I write. My stories are bursting out of my notebooks but I am afraid to follow my dream. I want to write more than anything in the world but am afraid of rejection. What do I do? Signed Writer’s Block

Dear Writer’s Block,
Thank you for your sweet letter. It is always an honor and a privilege to hear from fans. My advice to you is for one, keep writing. When one is truly a writer or an artist of any sort they cannot help themselves but they must do or they will wilt up and die. It is important you keep writing. Second, submit for publication. Whether it be a school newspaper, a local gazette or magazine, submit your work. The worst they could do is say no. While rejection is scary it goes with the process of being creative and can make you a stronger person. And from each rejection we learn. I only got the courage to be myself but getting rejected time and time again. The truth is, people will love your work or they might not. The only way to know is to send it out. And if they ultimately reject it ask for feedback. It might just help you become a better writer. Also, see if there are any writing classes or workshops being offered at your school or in your town. That way you can possibly find a mentor in a teacher and meet others with the same goals and fears in order to find support. It takes a special person to be a writer and the journey of an artist is extraordinary. Good luck to you. Love Mama Foxxx

Dear Mama Foxxx,
I am dating the most perfect wonderful girl in the world. She is pretty and smart but the problem is, she comes with a past. When I say past she is twenty years old and has slept with thirty guys. She has been a good girlfriend to me thus far but I have trouble believing she is going to be loyal and every time I am with her I feel like I am competing with every man she ever slept with. What is worse is that sometimes we are out and when she says hi to a guy I worry that they slept together at one point. And my friends make jokes about her being a slut and I always have to defend her. Last week I even punched one out. I love her, I really do. But I don’t know if I can deal with a girl who comes with a past. Help me please! Sloppy Seconds

Dear Sloppy Seconds,
I want to start this letter by saying shame on you! Why is it when a guy sleeps with a lot of women he is a Mack Daddy but when a girl exhibits that sort of same sexual fearlessness she is a slut? Answer, it’s called social double standard and you are buying into it. You say she is the most wonderful girl in the world. It must mean you love her. That is why you need to put her past behind the both of you. When women behave that way it’s not because they are sluts it is because their self esteem is low because men like yourself have either hurt them, abused them, or treated them shiteously. So if you love her stop making it an issue! And it doesn’t matter who she was with the fact of the matter is she is loyal and loves you now. That is what you should concentrate on. Clearly who she was and who she is now are two different people. And so she says hi to guys she knows. It means she has good manners. Maybe you should learn a few Mr. I Punch My Friends Out. The fact you believe she slept with every guy she says hi to is in your insecure, male, ego dick driven head! And our friends are a reflection of who we are and your friends sound like asshole dickheads. Tell them they better start respecting your woman or they have to go. But then again it seems you folks all settle things truck driver style. After reading your letter I want to let you know that not only does she seem to good for you, but I bet you have your fair share of notches on the bed post. Perhaps my smack upside the head will wise you up, you will learn to act right and salvage this relationship with a woman you care for because sir at some point or other we all come with a past. When casting a play in hell we do not have angels as actors. Learn to man up and accept everyone comes with some sort of bullet wound or battle scar or you will have a very lonely life you self righteous, hypocritical piece of shit. YIKES! Love Mama Foxxx
Dear Mama Foxxx,
I am currently twenty one years old and was involved with a man for two years who would verbally insult me and routinely hit me. The relationship ended badly and resulted in me getting a restraining order. You would think that makes it better but it doesn’t. I am afraid to date again and am afraid to trust people. I also wear running shoes wherever I go so I can make a sprint out the door in case he shows up. I want to return to the world of the living again but don’t know how. I watched you on TV and have heard you speak about this on the radio. Help me please. Signed, Basketcase

Dear Basketcase,
Wow, I just want to start this letter by saying I applaud you for having the courage to write me and tell me your story. Since my TV appearance I have gotten dozens of letters from young women like yourself. Let me tell you I know the feelings you are feeling all too well. However I also want to tell you that in this world there are no victims there are only volunteers, and you are volunteering to be a victim. People can only push you as far as you let them, and you are letting this man’s memory haunt you to the point that you cannot live life like a normal person. Normal people go out with friends, date, and don’t wear sneakers so they can sprint from a psycho ex but I am sure you know that. Have you thought about seeking counseling? That way you can talk about your nightmarish experience and get coping strategies for the anxiety this relationship caused you. In addition you can also work on the self esteem issues that brought you to this man and look at the relationship patterns so history does not continue to repeat itself. Seeking help does not make you weak but in fact makes you strong because it means you are facing your problem. As for the dating again, there is no law saying you have to rush into that. Perhaps you need some you time, that way you can learn to love yourself and therefore attract someone positive who can return the favor without physical violence and a barrage of verbal insults. And remember when you want to hide from the world that this man is no longer a part of your life and he can only get as much power as you give him, and it is your choice whether you allow him to haunt you or not. Therefore get out of the house and go to the movies or the bowling alley with some friends. While it might seem like climbing Mount Everest it is a start. Lastly, I know from experience this is all easier said than done. It takes time so be gentle with yourself. Best of luck on your journey towards healing and happiness. Love, Mama Foxxx

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