Oprah's message struck home last night. It wasn't because it was so wonderful, it's because I have been there. She too has been there, deeper than me or anyone ever should go.
Without getting into my damage I am part of the #metoo. It's not because I don't want to share, it's that because in the scheme of things I am unfortunately the rule not the exception. This is not just professionally, but personally.
For years I felt isolated. I had female so called friends and some family members tell me that I actually caused my pain, victim blaming me. I had males cheering on my male abusers, saying I somehow deserved it. I had male police officers laugh when I complained about fearing my abuser and telling me to "get a life." I had female police officers telling me to hang up when my abuser would call me not getting that the calls weren't the issue but my safety. I had men in my profession swear to ruin me after I fought back when they treated me like chattel. I had family members-male and female-blame my profession, not the social ills that all women who have goals face.
For a long time I felt alone. I abused my body and I abused myself. I walked with a silent shame no one should ever have to endure. Not only am I no longer hiding, but I am no longer apologizing. And if God forbid I die tomorrow, I hope some young woman who needs to see this message sees it. If this is my only legacy to the world so be it. It does not matter what you wear or who you are, you do not deserve to be touched without your will. And every shape is beautiful, it's the spirit inside that defines the beauty.
I hope you don't let the misdeeds of someone else destroy your life or dictate your future. I hope you know your dreams are important and you matter. If no one has told you today, I love you.
And if you ask how I am bearing the cold back east without a man.......just fine........
Without getting into my damage I am part of the #metoo. It's not because I don't want to share, it's that because in the scheme of things I am unfortunately the rule not the exception. This is not just professionally, but personally.
For years I felt isolated. I had female so called friends and some family members tell me that I actually caused my pain, victim blaming me. I had males cheering on my male abusers, saying I somehow deserved it. I had male police officers laugh when I complained about fearing my abuser and telling me to "get a life." I had female police officers telling me to hang up when my abuser would call me not getting that the calls weren't the issue but my safety. I had men in my profession swear to ruin me after I fought back when they treated me like chattel. I had family members-male and female-blame my profession, not the social ills that all women who have goals face.
For a long time I felt alone. I abused my body and I abused myself. I walked with a silent shame no one should ever have to endure. Not only am I no longer hiding, but I am no longer apologizing. And if God forbid I die tomorrow, I hope some young woman who needs to see this message sees it. If this is my only legacy to the world so be it. It does not matter what you wear or who you are, you do not deserve to be touched without your will. And every shape is beautiful, it's the spirit inside that defines the beauty.
I hope you don't let the misdeeds of someone else destroy your life or dictate your future. I hope you know your dreams are important and you matter. If no one has told you today, I love you.
And if you ask how I am bearing the cold back east without a man.......just fine........
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