10. “Wow…..still living in your mom’s basement. Nice to see
you believe in consistency.”
9. “Your kid is growing wiser and smarter. Not only is he on
the honor roll, but it didn’t take him very long to figure out you were a
loser.”
8. “You gained weight. But at least you’ll be ready to hibernate
for winter. Wait, you hibernate every day because you don’t have a job.”
7. “You want your shit? I threw it away. I thought about
selling it but it’s worthless just like you are.”
6. “I think it’s crazy you wanted me to wait for you until
you got out of prison. Because when you were away, we both cheated with the
nearest man who would listen to us.”
5. “I don’t want to be friends with you. You’re like used
toilet paper. You’re ultimately good for nothing, make everyone uncomfortable,
and a reminder that I sometimes make shit choices.”
4. “You relapsed on heroin? I’m so proud of you. It meant
for once in your life you had a goal, got off your ass, and took some action.”
3. “I’m supposed to be jealous of your new girl? Honey, you
are her problem now. And when she sees you sleep with the light on because you
are afraid of the dark and answer to your mother there are no throw backs here.”
2. “Your new lady seems so sweet. Now tell me, how long did
it take you to move in and try to live rent free? Just curious.”
1. “Who are you again? You look familiar but I can’t quite
place you.”
Bonus Disses aka Honorable mentions:
A: "Your family and friends are hassling me because they think I ruined your life. That is the only time you got off your ass and did something for yourself. They say they want you to do well. When I was 6 I wanted my dad to get me a pony and we didn't. Looks like we're on the same program there."
B. "I dumped you. But my mom's disappointed. It's not because you were so wonderful, she thinks you're a loser. She just always taught me to think for myself and never follow a crowd."
C. "Your best friend wanted me to sleep with him after you left. Even he doesn't like you. But he eclipses you in one way, he's a bigger loser than you. I didn't think that was possible. Granted, I hate myself for loving you but not enough to sleep with your idiot sidekick."
C. "Your best friend wanted me to sleep with him after you left. Even he doesn't like you. But he eclipses you in one way, he's a bigger loser than you. I didn't think that was possible. Granted, I hate myself for loving you but not enough to sleep with your idiot sidekick."
www.AprilBrucker.TV
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