The last week of my life has been sort of crazy. I have been sick, achy all over. The weather knows not which season it is. Mother Nature is on and off again with Father Time. She won't set a boundary for that sunshine and rainy day heartbreaker. Plus there has been some career angst. Thank God the worst has passed over. More on that as things progress. One thing I am a junkie for is Spanish music. It started a few years ago when I began living alone. I have no TV, only youtube. Began watching a ton of Spanish gangster flicks. Loved the music and began to search for it.
During my time in New York I have been exposed to Spanish art, language, and music as well as Spanish food. My Spanish speaking has improved from my days as a wonderbread colored high schooler in PA. As for the music, I like it because it is fun and peaceful. It calms me down. Or it has horns and is fun to dance to. It reminds you life is not as serious as we think it is. Sometimes I am guilty of taking myself way too seriously. It is the German in me. Maybe the Irish too. A few days ago I was stressing and my body hurt. I was waiting for an important phone call and it turned out to be a telemarketer. I was kvetching to a friend who told me, "When that happens, please remember to laugh."
Suavecito is the name of the car in the movie Mi Vida Loca. It's a Mexican gangster chick dramady. The Locas are an Echo Park Street Gang. Two girls get knocked up by this loser who gets killed during a drug deal, and of course they are fighting over him. And then they find out about his pimped out ride. I think Latin dudes get the rep for being car obsessed but it is all guys.
This past week I have felt angst because of the physical pain I experienced. The Spanish music has made me feel better, especially the track by Malo. Whatever works, right?
Today I got some upsetting news. My friend Scott Mollica passed from cancer. We had been friends two summers ago. We laughed, hung out, and gossiped. We lost touch when he moved out to Long Island unfortunately. Still, we connected. Scott was real and just awesome. We had a lot of fun riding the train to and from the city. I still remember those hot summer nights on the platform pulling my puppet out of my hand bag and doing an impromptu show on the platform. It was whimsical, fun, innocent, and so New York. I can still hear our laughter. I can still hear us talking about life and love. I can still feel the summer heat on my skin. Scott was so proud of me for all I was doing. He was always curious to hear about the fan mail I got, but when some of it got crazy he reminded me to be careful. A gay big brother on Earth who was really an angel in disguise.
Tomorrow I do a show for children who have cancer. I have been freaking out and preparing. I hope it is good. It is hard to see children who are sick, because they haven't had time to have adult adventures full of screw ups and other tomfoolery. However, I know Scott's spirit will be with me. Scott always loved my puppets. He will be there laughing like he always was. In heaven Scott will join my friends Chacho, Joe, Edgardo, my Aunt Peggy, and my grandparents Nunni and Pop Pop.
So as I digest this upsetting news, I remember the Spanish music I listen to. I remember why I Mi gusta it. It's because of the blaring horns. It's because when it is calm it is soothing. It's because it is a gentle reminder that nothing is that serious. I know in my heart my friend is making his journey. According to the Catholic tradition I grew up with St. Michael the Archangel will lead him to the other side. The other side will have nonstop laughter and adventures like we did during those hot summer days. I know we will have those days again. I will also use my children, my puppets, as agents to fight cancer. My brother and sister do it in the lab, I do it on the stage.
I also feel the gentle Spanish guitar, and see the chicos with their pimped out rides like Scott and I did during that summer. They are laughter and light. Scott was laughter and light. My puppets are laughter and light. Children are laughter and light. My dear friend Lola always says to move away from the dark. Now I know what I must do and where I must go.
Love
April
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
www.aprilbrucker.com
During my time in New York I have been exposed to Spanish art, language, and music as well as Spanish food. My Spanish speaking has improved from my days as a wonderbread colored high schooler in PA. As for the music, I like it because it is fun and peaceful. It calms me down. Or it has horns and is fun to dance to. It reminds you life is not as serious as we think it is. Sometimes I am guilty of taking myself way too seriously. It is the German in me. Maybe the Irish too. A few days ago I was stressing and my body hurt. I was waiting for an important phone call and it turned out to be a telemarketer. I was kvetching to a friend who told me, "When that happens, please remember to laugh."
Suavecito is the name of the car in the movie Mi Vida Loca. It's a Mexican gangster chick dramady. The Locas are an Echo Park Street Gang. Two girls get knocked up by this loser who gets killed during a drug deal, and of course they are fighting over him. And then they find out about his pimped out ride. I think Latin dudes get the rep for being car obsessed but it is all guys.
This past week I have felt angst because of the physical pain I experienced. The Spanish music has made me feel better, especially the track by Malo. Whatever works, right?
Today I got some upsetting news. My friend Scott Mollica passed from cancer. We had been friends two summers ago. We laughed, hung out, and gossiped. We lost touch when he moved out to Long Island unfortunately. Still, we connected. Scott was real and just awesome. We had a lot of fun riding the train to and from the city. I still remember those hot summer nights on the platform pulling my puppet out of my hand bag and doing an impromptu show on the platform. It was whimsical, fun, innocent, and so New York. I can still hear our laughter. I can still hear us talking about life and love. I can still feel the summer heat on my skin. Scott was so proud of me for all I was doing. He was always curious to hear about the fan mail I got, but when some of it got crazy he reminded me to be careful. A gay big brother on Earth who was really an angel in disguise.
Tomorrow I do a show for children who have cancer. I have been freaking out and preparing. I hope it is good. It is hard to see children who are sick, because they haven't had time to have adult adventures full of screw ups and other tomfoolery. However, I know Scott's spirit will be with me. Scott always loved my puppets. He will be there laughing like he always was. In heaven Scott will join my friends Chacho, Joe, Edgardo, my Aunt Peggy, and my grandparents Nunni and Pop Pop.
So as I digest this upsetting news, I remember the Spanish music I listen to. I remember why I Mi gusta it. It's because of the blaring horns. It's because when it is calm it is soothing. It's because it is a gentle reminder that nothing is that serious. I know in my heart my friend is making his journey. According to the Catholic tradition I grew up with St. Michael the Archangel will lead him to the other side. The other side will have nonstop laughter and adventures like we did during those hot summer days. I know we will have those days again. I will also use my children, my puppets, as agents to fight cancer. My brother and sister do it in the lab, I do it on the stage.
I also feel the gentle Spanish guitar, and see the chicos with their pimped out rides like Scott and I did during that summer. They are laughter and light. Scott was laughter and light. My puppets are laughter and light. Children are laughter and light. My dear friend Lola always says to move away from the dark. Now I know what I must do and where I must go.
Love
April
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
www.aprilbrucker.com
No comments:
Post a Comment