Wednesday, March 21, 2012

*GULP*

Okay, as of Monday I think I have started to have a spring fling. To make a long story short St. Patrick's Day Weekend I had been sick. St. Pat drove the snakes out of Ireland, and maybe he had driven them into my stomach. They say that St. Pat was sober, but my great grandmother who's mother was from Cork was not. If anything she loved her whiskey and cigarettes and much as God himself. That's probably why I love hearing about her. Anyway, I was not part of the fun. St. Pat's Day has never ended well for me. Two years ago I got into a fight with a midget in a leprechaun costume. That's how you know your life sucks. Just saying.

Anyway, rewind a month prior to everything. I was doing a show where it was a night of April being April. Basically, it had been a rough day and I didnt want to do anything but found myself in the back of a comedy club. Part of me wanted to go home, get under my blankets, and watch Beverly Hills 90210 reruns on my youtube. But I was there and not at home. The show was overbooked and running late but nonetheless fun. I didnt care that I wasn't going on. I just wanted to chill and be still.

Well enter Kindred Spirit, he's higher on the food chain and he sort of bumped me which was the best news ever cause I really just didnt want to move. I ended up talking to him and he asked me when I was going up and I sarcastically said, "In a million years." Did I mention I was having an uber-rotten day and just didn't want to move? Needless to say, I went up and it was cool. For as much as I didnt want to do it for whatever reason I just did it. Actually it was a nice way to end the night and everyone told me they loved the fact that I was as risky as I was.

OKAY.

So then Kindred Spirit invited me to a diner. We chillaxed and shot the breeze. It was the nice end I needed to a day that had been so crazy brutal. Sometimes, April being April drives even April Brucker crazy. I felt bad for going to the diner with him. I even apologized because perhaps he had other plans he was blowing off. My ex-fiance always informed me that people hung out with me because they felt sorry for me, and most people didnt want to be my friend.

Kindred Spirit said, with a twinkle in his eye, "No need to apologize. I sought out the experience." I was like Wowsa! I also felt awkward for my lack of self-esteem courtesy of my abusive, psychotic, controlling ex-fiance. No need to go to the Dollar Store when there are discounted, damaged goods right here.

Continuing the be the picture of well grounded self-esteem, when the check came I asked, "How are we splitting this?" I mean, it was a fair question. Plus since the days of the ex-fiance I never expect a guy to pay for me.

"I got it. I invited you." Kindred Spirit informed me. He just had this twinkle in his eye that just made me melt. A big, fake, awkward smile crossed my face. I was suddenly nineteen years old and new to NYC all over again. It was like I didn't know anything about guys, just starting the whole dating thing. Gosh I was retarded. He asked if I was going to the subway. I wanted to tell Kindred Spirit my short bus was outside instead and that was taking me home. I mean, it was obvious by my lack of social skills I needed to be there.

Well I didnt say that which was probably better. Instead we walked to the train and he gave me a kiss goodnight. I thought I was going to melt right there. I didnt expect to see or hear from Kindred Spirit again. He messaged me a few times online but that was it. Like me, he is a child of the night and a creature of the wind. No one owns us so don't even dare. Plus I just don't chase after men. Never have, never will. Some girls follow them towards the end of the Earth and will even go off a cliff to oblivion. I, on the other hand, don't think anyone is worth that much time and energy.

Not to mention I am a busy woman. I have a lot to do and no time to babysit a man. It just worked out that way. So let's just say I just sort of forgot about him for a little bit. Meanwhile, other drama ensued because April can't keep her politics to herself let alone stop talking in third person. Oh and it's spring, my puppets need new clothes. I am about to publish a book, I am pitching a project, my song is on two radio stations, I might be working with a company I did some stuff for as far as spokesperson goes, and I am a poster girl for a new campaign. Kindred Spirit and his masculine agenda were the last thing on my mind.

Fast forward to this past weekend. I got sick, got into a political internet conflagration with some dumb bitch who wants to set women back a few amendments, and just was fed up with the world. Guess who messages me online Sunday night? Kindred Spirit. Turned out he thought he had a show that night but got the week wrong. We ended up chatting on facebook and then he calls me on the phone and we chit chat for an hour and a half into the night! At first I was like, okay, maybe we are talking way long but time just seemed to fly like it was nothing. Weird I know.

Then Monday comes. I get some distressing news about my Pop Pop who is ninety-three years old. He had  a health scare. I talked to my mom on the phone. Kindred Spirit called me but I was thus otherwise occupied with my mom. When I hung up I saw that he called and called him back.He told me he was going to be in the city and invited me to chill.I was like coolio.

We ended up getting coffee, chilled in the city, and chilled a little in Brooklyn. I must say he is a great kisser! Anyway, we had a fun night. It was one of those things were I realized how truly awkward I am around dudes. I just kept babbling about dumb shit and more dumb shit. I actually said nothing the whole night. I even spoke about Al Bundy as if he were a 20th Century thinker. Kindred Spirit told me to start quoting Neitzsche instead. I was like, "Okay, duh, duh, duh."

Oh and then at another point in the evening Kindred Spirit, seeing that I am totally awkward said, "I was leaning in to kiss you, you know." I just gave him a thumbs up and kissed him. At moments like that I wished I could just be Mae West; smooth, sexy, yet sarcastic and ready to go. No such luck.

I figured he was probably telling everyone how crazy I am. Lord only know how many dudes do that after dealing with me. Some have even gone to the internet and have done so. Needless to say, I was ready.

However, Kindred Spirit sent me a text telling me he liked chillin with me. I sent him a text with a smiley face. Then last night he dropped me a text asking if I was a night owl. Who knows?

I am not looking for a boyfriend because I am just a disaster area in relationships. I dont think he's looking for a girlfriend. I am just having a spring fling. Okay, I didnt think I was still this shy when it came to dudes. Then again, I havent dated in a while. I forgot how shy and anxious I get. But it is fun. Did I mention I am a mess? Now I want to see him again sort of but if it happens oh well, if not, whatever. Giggle, giggle.

On the other hand, to alleviate my anxiety, I might send one of my puppets on the date next time instead. It won't be April exactly, but it will be a very close representative. For certain, if I am not there they will not speak as much and they will not wear their hair wrong. I, on the other hand, will be at home making an angry youtube video. I will be reading my Sylvia Plath because we still have a few cold snaps left. Following her will be Emily Dickinson. Okay, maybe not. But you get my point.

Lastly, Kindred Spirit told me he would not be reading my blog. Well, unlike many a man I have dated, he can actually read which is a nice change of pace. That is, not that we are dating because I hate putting labels on things but you get my drift. I think he is lying. I think he will be at this blog in no time.

Either way my spring fling has started. *GULP*

*YAY*

Love,
April

2 comments:

  1. well my my my the kindred spirit is in of course he will be reading the blog....^j^ angelz on all your pillowz ^j^MsSassyNeighbor

    ReplyDelete