Friday, February 22, 2013

Smack My Bitch Up (Prodigy)

When I was thirteen a photographer friend of mine had an assistant. She was a nice girl and she used to like to go after famous men in order to date them. Some of it was she was star struck, some of it was that she was young. Some of it was that she was a groupie type.

At the time my family had just gotten MTV. It was a way that my dad could watch my brother's football games. Where there was one station to be purchased twenty more came with the package. Within two weeks of having MTV I was hooked like heroin. I still remember when Prodigy came on the screen. I was in love. I loved their loud music, the cacophony of noise. This was awesome. "He's so cute!" I squealed with my sister.During an MTV watching session, in which Prodigy made MTV news my dad decided it was time for one of his daddy lectures. He told us that while it was wonderful that these people did what they did fame wasn't the most important thing in the world. It was more important to live a good life and have a family.

Well in the mean time my photographer friend's assistant began dating a band member from Prodigy. She fell head over heals for him and by the way she spoke about him they were going to be together forever. Apparently she met this guy while he was on tour and invited me to this party where the band members would be. She gave me the scoop on Prodigy, that they weren't a real band per se. That they were put together by the studio and owned by Madonna and her label.

This girl very quickly fell for this guy and called him all the time burning up her phone bill. However Mr. Prodigy had different ideas. This girl was following him, and burning up her money. On the other hand Mr. Prodigy could have cared less. The girl wanted to be Mrs. Prodigy, but she was just one of many girls that he had in many ports. She was in love, he was just looking to have his bed occupied.

Finally one day she made plans to fly to London to be with him, start a life. My photographer friend, sick of the charade, gave her the business. He told her that if this guy cared about her he would be paying for her plane ticket to England and paying for her to come to see him. If this guy cared he would have tried harder to make this work. It's not what she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear that Mr. Prodigy, her famous boyfriend, loved her.

Needless to say the romance began to fall off soon after that. She woke up and realized despite his fame Mr. Prodigy was just a frog, not a prince. The experience helped her wake up. From there she actually met a nice, nonfamous guy who made a decent amount of money and treated her well. They got married and have kids. They are happy. Sure she didn't marry Mr. Prodigy but she has a good story. But all and all, it is just a good story. The end.

As for Mr. Prodigy, he had his time in the sun and like the 1990s he too faded into obscurity. He is probably living in London, maybe working in music still. Or perhaps he is working at the local eatery serving fish 'n' chips asking customers, "Do you want fries with that?" I think him and the legion of bands that burned out and disappeared after a hit or two.

I thought of this story the other day when I was in kickboxing and I heard the song "Fire Starter." I was like, "Wow, havent heard that since middle school" and thought of this girl. Perhaps Mr. Prodigy is running around the British country side and telling women of his days as a rock superstar, beer belly and all. I can only guess. Sigh, just be thankful that phase of my life is over.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
877-Buy-Book and for paperback
Kindle and Nook for Ebook
Audiobook available on 2013
Subscribe to my youtube at
Portion of proceeds go to RAINN

No comments:

Post a Comment