Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Love of a Woman (Travis Tritt)

Love is a hard thing. It starts out all bubbly until trouble arrives and then most people run for cover. Emotions are hard. This is where love gets difficult. Actually, love is easy. It's people who complicate it with ego and he said she said crap. You get my drift, right?

For me I have a weakness for two things, a man who lays it on the line to talk about what is really going on with him. And the other is a Marine. Reason being, two of my favorite original fans were Marines. Out of their minds, they were armed with an ego that said, "We are better than the army and navy." Slightly conceited, they sometimes like to remind people their boot camp is 12 weeks as opposed to the 8 of Army and Navy and the six of the Air Force. They are the few and the proud. And they proudly supported me on several occasions when a great number of people did not. The last time I heard both were deployed to the Middle East. I hope they are alright. Both wanted to re-enlist because they were having the times of their lives. The nice thing about those two, and I know I am digressing, is that you could hear their exuberant laughs anywhere, and usually when they began to laugh so did the rest of the room.

Also, my adopted POW/MIA was a Marine. Killed in Vietnam, he has found his final resting place in Sam Houston in Texas and is on a plaque in Arlington. His name is Antonio Sandoval, visit him if you get a chance. Oh and there is Lieutenant Colonel Dave Rosner. Not only is he an active Marine, but he also performs standup comedy and was one of the first friends I made on the scene. Oh, and he put the fire under my ass to get my book published. And then there is Just Plain Keith aka Keith Godwin or Semper Fi Keith, who books the recovery shows I occasionally do at rehab centers. So yeah, I love a Marine. I can't help it.

Today I delivered a singing telegram to a woman who worked in a medical office. It was from her Marine boyfriend. From what I gathered, the relationship was new because he had either missed her birthday or forgotten it. Anyway, he sent me all the way from Japan where he is stationed. Brent requested that I wear a WWE Championship Belt and sing the Travis Tritt song, "Love of a Woman."

The whole thing sounded quite insane, but he is a Marine. Marines in my experience are quite insane. My two original fans-Chuck and Bobby-both Marines as I mentioned, once told me about a grenade juggling contest they had drunk. This is just par for the course. The whole combination of things was quite insane, but completely funny. As I memorized the Travis Tritt song, I couldn't help but laugh. The heartland where country music is popular is notoriously homophobic and sexist as well as racist. However, they also lay their feelings on the line better than anyone. The lyrics to this song were very white straight male drive a pick up truck. And I had to stop from laughing. Travis Tritt has too many damn feelings.

I remember high school, and how when my friends would hear a song like this we would gag in the background. Then during my early comedy days we made a bet on how many black eyes the woman he was singing to received. Of course as I hit the road with my act and still do, this is either playing at an out of the way diner or last call at the bar. Either way, the emoting on the part of this probable homophobic country singer was much too much.

When I got to Brooklyn to sing to Julianna, the sun was shining. I went to the medical office, WWE belt and all. When I walked in, WWE belt and pink gorilla outfit, the nurses started dying with laughter. Julianna came out of the office and nearly peed her pants. "Can we do this in the back?" She said, her face turning as pink as my outfit

"Sure, " I said.

I began singing the Travis Tritt song, and her eyes began to water. As I laid into the chorus, one nurse filming it said, "This is so true!" No wonder country music was popular, people relate.

Julianna seemed like the shy type, unsure of what to do with the gesture. When she thanked me and informed me she had enough, I sang her Happy Birthday. I read the message:

"I hope you are having a great day. If you are not, I hope this made your day better. I am sorry I missed your birthday. Happy belated birthday! Your Favorite Marine."

At that minute, Julianna hugged me. "Awwww!" She said. "This was so sweet, thank you."

"You call that man, you call that man right now" One of the nurses said

"I can't, he's asleep." Julianna said, observing her beloved was in Japan and there was a 12-13  hour time difference give for take daylight savings.

"I think he would appreciate you waking him up just this once." I told her. The others agreed. And off she went, giggling and starry eyed, to call her Soldier Boy.

Brent MacAndrews made me realize that perhaps I am too cynical when it comes to love. While there are a plethora of idiots roaming the globe who use women, there are also a plethora of good men that don't. Brent MacAdams is one of those good guys. He is all man, and at the same time, is man enough to let a lady know how he feels. Maybe the song was cheesy, and I made fun of the lyrics the entire time, but sometimes a guy talking about his feelings is scarier than any bullet or grenade that could come his way.

He's a good catch. And he makes me believe in Happily Ever After.

Don't mess this up, Julianna.

Semper Fi kiddies.

And a man would be a fool to make it on his own.

Just a day in my life

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

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