Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Blind Sided

The last few weeks things have been going like gang busters in my life. Work has been insane. At the middle of April I recorded my DVD. Then after that, the telegrams really picked up which was good. Of course I also did a theatre at the end of May, so the whole month was spent prepping for that. I also started a new sports broadcasting gig at Ranter. As a result, I covered the Stanley Cup and am now covering the World Cup. After that, I headlined a theatre for two nights in Long Island, killing both but commuting an hour and a half back and fourth. Then I booked a national television show. Filmed a music video. After that I did a photo shoot with a guy from Hearst. Oh, and then I filmed a short film where I did voice and puppet work with some folks from the Harvard documentary lab. On top of that I am doing an advanced level show business class and a graduate level publishing seminar. Yes I have to do homework for both.

I also recorded several podcasts and mini web shows in there as well.

Did I mention I am organizing a NYC book signing?

I haven't stopped for nearly two and a half months. I love the work I am doing, and the people I am working under and working alongside are amazing. However, these kernels of excitement go out the window when you are exhausted. And for the last two days I have felt like I have been a sherpa hauling something up a mountain. Just nonstop. Monday I found myself especially moody. It was hot. People were rude. I couldn't take it.

This morning was super tough. I slept more than I had in some time. I had a morningish delivery. Did I want to get out of bed and schlepp three blocks to work? Hell no. It was three blocks, but I was feeling indignant. All I did was work. On top of that I had school in the evening and my homework was 3/4 done but I still had one thing to do. The delivery went okay. But the paranoia of being exhausted was sinking in. Would they call my boss and say I sucked? I made a joke about the company? Would they be offended? Then I remembered coffee was not a food group for as much as I wanted it to be. Either way, I felt super duper off center.

Just when I thought I could sit on my ass, watch Netflix, and complete my homework my boss called. Second telegram. Ordinarily, I am glad for the work, but I had a severe case of the fuck its. Not to mention I was in no mood to wear makeup and it was a birthday cake show girl. Anyway, I got my costume and off I went.

On my way there, I saw a blind woman as I was crossing the street. She looked like she was going to cross. At first, I wanted to see if I could possibly cross her, but it's New York and I was in a hurry. She kept sticking her hand in and out and I wasn't sure what she was doing. Was she seeing if it was safe to cross? Either way, the poor thing was so confused. She was helpless. Something told me to step in and try to assist.

I asked her, "Do you need me to cross you, m'am?"

"No, I need a cab." She replied.

"Can I get you one?" I asked her. The way she was hailing she would have been there all day. She was doing the smart thing of standing out of the street, but it's the only way in New York City cabs will see you.

"If you see one." She said.

I stepped into the street and hailed a cab. Within seconds, it came to us. "Here you go, m'am." I said as the cab stopped in front of us.

"Can you guide me over. I'm blind." The woman explained in case I had forgotten.

"Sure." I took her hand and guided her towards the cab. I opened the door, in she went and off she went. Suddenly, the rotten mood I had been in vanished. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. In my tired mood, I had become sucked into my own selfish little world and had become an eternal professional victim. I was the female Sisyphus, holding the world on my shoulders. No wonder I was in such a pissed off mood.

In my maximum pissage, I had thrown my gratitude out the window. The poor blind woman probably would have done anything to switch places with me. I can see and she can't. That's the obvious. But there are evil people who might try to hurt her because she is a disabled woman.

At that moment I realized my life was really good. I work hard, but it is starting to pay off. For starters, I absolutely rocked the second telegram I did. And I am doing a book signing/show with my coworkers and boss on July 3 at Don't Tell Mama @ 7:30 where my boss is going to give me a singing telegram lesson. Plus I get paid to dress up in a costume, sing and make people happy almost daily.

I also filmed a DVD at a venue Liza Minelli and Joan Rivers have been known to stop into. Soon to be released.

I get to follow sports and rant about them, two things I love and now get paid to do.

I am potentially going to be on national television again with my puppets.

I got to headline a theatre 2 nights in a row, and this has been a dream of mine forever.

The photos from the shoot look great, and the shoot was fun.

The puppet work and voice work from the short film was so much fun I was upset when we wrapped. And when everyone left, I was sad we had to say goodbye because I liked them so much.

So far the music video looks awesome.

My acting and writing teacher are both awesome, too.

Bottom line, sometimes it takes helping someone else to get out of your own bullshit to realize that's what it is, bullshit. With that I turned my frown upside down and replaced it with an attitude of gratitude. I am doing what I always have wanted to do and I am getting paid to do it. I don't want for anything, and I am healthy.

You can't get tired when you are chasing your dreams. Especially if your dreams are to make others laugh and smile.

And if you do, you simply need to eat more red meat.

Oh, and if you are in a funk, be of service to someone else. You are in your own quick sand. You are in your darkness. Don't fall victim to the crap in your head. We all have a blind side, and sometimes it is stepping outside ourselves to assist someone else that clears our focus.


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