Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Ain't No Mountain High Enough (Marvin Gaye and Tammy Terrell)

Life recently has been pretty good. I headlined a theatre and had a big audition I did well at. Relax, I still didn't book the job. Thing is, if you do well they remember you and call you again. And the woman who referred me heard I did well. So even if I don't book this one I will book another one. Plus Ranter is going to iphone soon, and will be placing ads on the internet. Things are getting good. I also started an acting business class with a regional union rep, and am taking a graduate level creative writing class with two literary agents.

Headlining theatres, being seen by "important" people, having an app that is being pitched to "higher ups" and all that jazz is pretty cool. It brings me to a whole new level. I am a woman of faith, and I used to ask God for what I wanted as if He/She were Santa. Now I just let that spirit guide me. Sometimes I don't get what I want, but what I get is better. Sometimes I get what I want, just not in the way I thought I would get it. Relax, I am not a Bible nut, so my Godless Heathens reading this can relax. You are entitled to your beliefs too, and maybe you are right. I don't know.

In a way things feel too good to be true, especially since sometimes I spend my mornings answering fan mail. I found out I was on TV quite a bit in Australia which made me happy. The fan mail I got was awesome. Suddenly I had dreams of me playing the Sydney Opera House. I had only seen it in pictures, but have always wanted to go. Wouldn't it be grand if I was on stage there?

I have also always dreamed of performing at Carnegie Hall with my children. Lately I have been jogging past there to remind myself of where I want to be daily. It is a big dream of mine. As things fall into place, I know it will happen someday.

On the other hand, all his action seems a little overwhelming. Sometimes I feel as if it is an accident when good things happen to me. Partially because none of my career has been handed to me whatsoever. Additionally, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for for me to screw something up. There are also a lot of people who don't think I am good at what I do. Either they think they are better, or that I don't deserve good things to happen to me. Many of them are eager to throw my gender in my face, reminding me that I am a woman. Or they are eager to throw a part of my past in my face I would rather forget, reminding me about how bad things used to be in my life and how I carried the mess rather than the message.

However, there are also people who want me to do well, and they are a blessing to have in my corner. There are also people who need me to do well. They need to see one can make their way out of the dark forest and do good things with themselves. They need to know anything is possible. One man's pariah is another man's freedom fighter. I am the freedom fighter for the misfits and the downtrodden. My puppets and I have come to bring them hope and Manna from heaven.

Note to self, I still have to clean my room before any freedom fighting can be done.

Buy my book I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl
Check out my DVD Broke and Semi-Famous coming soon

No comments:

Post a Comment