Monday, July 7, 2014

Open Letter To Susan Patton aka Princeton Mom

Dear Ms. Patton,

I have read about you and have followed your commentary. Before you start baking me a pie and telling me how wonderful your entitled offspring are, I am not a fan. Actually, I am just the opposite. My belief is that you are a frightening anti-example to women. Yes, I said it. Anti-example. I know it's a made up word, but you go on national television with made up facts. Let's give me a little leeway, shall we?

First thing is first, you tell women college is the time to find a husband. In college, young people are anywhere from 18-22. What someone wants at 18 versus what they are going to want at 30 are two different things. Advice like yours not only encourages young people to make mistakes, but is the reason the divorce rate in this country is so high. Many college sweethearts say, "We were too young."

Second, you encourage women to get plastic surgery if it means finding the perfect mate. If a man doesn't like a woman based on the way she looks, maybe he is not the one for her. Have you ever thought of that? I mean, then again you look like a cross breed of Shreck and a troll who fornicated under a bridge one drunken night. So perhaps you should take your own advice. Additionally, looks fade. Dumb does not. In your case you had neither looks nor intelligence. How did you get into Princeton? Did your mother give a sexual favor to someone on admissions? Did your father buy a building? Because so far you make no sense, m'am.

You talk about how women who are non-Ivy grads are not at the intellectual level of your sons. Your offspring having your genes were fucked before they were stains on the mattress. Translated, they have your brains and personality. They have no chance in hell of getting any decent looking looking women with her shit together to even look their way let alone jump into bed with them. That is, unless she is a Russian hooker who demands thousands a night for her pain and suffering.

Okay, I get what you are saying. Women respect your husbands. Yeah, women should respect their husbands and men should respect their wives. Congratulations. You say that if someone is in their mid-thirties they missed their chance to find a husband. People in their mid-thirties get married all the time, and people have children, healthy children, into their forties. What cave do you sleep in? Nevermind, your time machine has not left 1950. Also, before you degrade the maiden aunt, perhaps she didn't want to get married or to have children. Perhaps she wanted to live a life alone with her cats instead of consorting with bloody pieces of used tampons like yourself. Perhaps you were such a misrepresentation of what a married woman should be that she said, "Fuck this, I am spending forever alone."

Additionally, marriage is work. I get that. However, people don't get divorced because they want to. They get divorced because they can't make it work. Divorce is costly and expensive. Not to mention emotionally draining as well as financially crippling. Then again, you should know. You couldn't even make your own marriage work you stupid, worthless, piece of shit. As a matter of fact, your husband probably realized he had somehow degraded himself to marry you and have two children. One day, he could no longer live and drove his car into the river. You just told everyone he left.

As an antagonistic feminist, people like myself have fought for you to attend an Ivy League University, because at one time women were to be seen and not heard. As an antagonistic feminist, I fight to protect women against abusive partners, the ones you encourage them to work it out with because they will not do any better. As an antagonistic feminist, I will continue to fight gender traitors like yourself and win with facts and intellect, rather than making things up on the spot.Then again, I seek to build women up and not to tear them down.

I could call you a thousand names, and you would deserve each one of them. However, you are a sad, fat bake off winner wannabe who did nothing with her Ivy League Degree. Instead, you became a baby maker who's husband too left in the end. Like all people with terrible self-worth, you live in the past. I am sorry you have so much gender conflict and self-hate. Thank you for setting us all back.


PS. I hope you crash your car somewhere while drunk in someone's rose bushes. Your terrible mug shot would really make my night

The dog killed itself shortly after this photo was taken. It realized it couldn't go on in it's present circumstances. 

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