Tuesday, September 10, 2013


I am coming off of a rough patch. August was a crazy month in both a good and bad way. A good way because I found myself in the midst of three rewarding projects. A bad way because I saw the disillusion of both a big project and a friendship.

You find out who your friends are when you work with them. My former friend and I well, maybe if we had never worked together we might still be friends. In my line of work when there is an opportunity you need to jump on it. When you don't, you probably will never see it again. It's just the way it goes. Usually in my line of work if you want a personal life three things happen. One, you die alone. There is a building with a lot of older actors around the corner from me and they are all alone. They have their plays, TV shows, stories, and will carry them to the grave. Or maybe you marry fifty times. It's not because you are a bad person, work brings you all over the globe and you keep long hours. Absence never makes the heart grow fonder. And then your exes and kids hate you. Or maybe you get lucky and find someone who understands. But that is like a needle in a stack of needles.

Granted, this is why a lot of people elect to teach. It lets them have stability and a family life. But in doing that they forfeit the adventure and artistic fulfillment of a life without being weighed down. 

At the end the working situation got abusive. It was to the point where I was spending money without impunity and just was losing my mind. Usually I am better with money but at the end of the month it was like, "Shit, how am I gonna pay my rent." God came through and I did it though.

Sunday I did the Ferragosto Festival in the Bronx. I do Commedia del Arte there with a troupe of actors every year. Our leader is from South Africa originally, and she teaches at a local college in Virginia. Once a year she comes up for the festival. I always like doing the festival after a big disappointment. Several years ago, it was after a breakup where I found out a dude totally misrepresented himself. Then it was after another business relationship with a former friend went south over a similar project. While he wasn't lazy, this particular ex friend had a gambling problem and that took his focus away. There is something about putting a mask on, prancing around in tights, and having my photo taken with strangers that lets me know it's all going to be okay.

This year my character was El Capitano Cockadoo. Basically, he was a captain who boasted of feats of strength but when challenged to a duel or any fight he either backs out or lost. I had a few kids kick my ass in the street.

For lunch I had octopus. They make it the best there. I decided just to go for it. Brain food. And eating that octopus made all the difference in the world.

It gave me a second wind in my period costume in the hot sun. It made me realize it was going to be alright. It made me realize that sometimes in life we put our tentacles on things.

Between yesterday and today I finally uploaded my audiobook. Perhaps that octopus paid off.

Maybe that octopus will make my brain work better and faster. Perhaps it will make my dreams come true. Octopuses they say can be psychic. There was one at a zoo that was. And when it comes to signing contracts


But seriously, I know it is going to be okay. The worst of it is over. More good things to come.
I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

My eight tentacled friend and a good lunch

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