Monday, September 23, 2013

Cleaning House

My birthday is coming up this week and it's a big one. I won't say the number. I don't know what is worse. That I don't really care that I am getting older. That I am so busy I didn't even notice my birthday was fast approaching. Or like a career minded woman I haven't cleaned my house in Lord knows how long.

Yesterday I started on this monolithic task. I made up my mind that there would be no more sorting out my audiobook upload drama, writing my musical, or doing anything else until my house was clean. Basically, my room looked like a drag queen had vandalized the place. There were sparkles everywhere. Oh and the eyelashes, please. Costumes on the floor. Puppet children thrown about missing their errant puppet mother and violating curfew. Cats and dogs getting married. Need I go on?

So I began the task yesterday and am doing more of it today. I guess I have this prejudice against people with clean rooms because growing up, all the girls with neat handwriting and clean rooms all had perfect skin. Of course I had cystic acne and they made fun of me, making school hell. I know I should get over it but sometimes the scars still remain. I always told myself while they would be getting stretch marks I would be a successful career woman. They are getting stretch marks.

 Am I a successful career woman?

Well I could list my credits and all the things I am up to but that would make me sound insecure. Fuck it, I am insecure. I am a woman with a chip on her shoulder. Read my blogs and witness the bitching. While it is not as miraculous as Jesus, let me tell you it's a miracle I stop sometimes. However, out of all the kids that I did acting classes with growing up, I am now the most successful. Out of my college class, not only am I one of the few folks still at it, but I am part of the group that is pretty successful. Some are more successful than me, most not. I think it is because while I have the chip on my shoulder, I have the ability to take my hits standing like John Wayne. Plus I am not a jiggle bunny who can easily be replaced. That will take you far in this world. I come about who I am honestly.

Now back to the topic. Yes. I am cleaning. No. I am not cooking yet. Maybe if I do both I will steal the husbands of those who made fun of me for having cystic acne. That would be pretty funny. Or not because then I would have to put up with a man telling me to cook and clean and fuck that shit yo. They say the best revenge is living well.

So I am back to cleaning my house. And I will live well in my spotless domicile.

Unstable woman out

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Person

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