Saturday, September 21, 2013

Idiots at the Gym

I go to the gym quite a bit. Okay I am admittedly a gym rat as they say. I worked at a gym in high school. College in my junior year I lived in a building with a gym. I go to the gym every day now. But the thing is, some people don't act as they should at the Temple of Health.

I was in the weight room the other day and this dude was average height and weight. He was lifting a moderate amount of weight on the squat. Out of no where he starts grunting. WTF?!?! First off, you are not lifting enough to grunt like that. Second, did you read the sign? It says no grunting, swearing or any other obnoxious noise!!!! Am I the only one that sees this! Of course he proceeds to do it again. I am like, dear God. This hyper-masculine bullshit is really getting me down. I wanted to know what cave Mr. Neanderthal came out of. Grunt, grunt, grunt. Do you come with a club to hit your future bride with over the head you moron!!!

Then there is this other girl who, first time I ever saw her, was cavorting her way around the free weight area. She had spandex shorts and this badly dyed blonde hair. Of course she dressed trashy enough to look attractive while trying to work out. It's bad enough she ruins it for every member of my gender trying to make it the right way. Well Jiggle Bunny walks over to the squat rack and has no weight on there. She squats down far enough and sticks out her ass enough like, "Guys, I like it in the boot." I just wanted to smack that trashy ho on the ass and tell her to put some pants on her flabby rear. I also wanted to put some weight on that bar. Make the bitch work.

The last was the couple who got PDA in the free weight area. I realize you are a couple. It's great you bump uglies and may or may not procreate in the future polluting the gene pool with your miscreant genes. However, I don't need to see you two drooling all over each other and making out in the free weight area. YOU BOTH ARE DISGUSTING. NO ONE WANTS TO IMAGINE YOU NAKED.

I don't know. They are lucky I am not like Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany who used to carry a stick around and beat people who didnt act accordingly.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

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