Christmas Crunch

Can I start by saying I don’t like Christmas right now? I don’t know what is worse about this yuletide hell mess. Is it the fact the card companies capitalizing? Is it the fact the Christmas decorations come out right after Halloween and when the big day hits you are so sick of hearing carols you want to go all postal worker and just start shooting people? Or maybe it is the religious right so poised to make it a holiday about their lord and savior supposedly born in a manger that they have to put up live scenes abusing donkeys and babies everywhere for the sake of realism? Or is it the Jewish people who want their turn and want to put up their Channakah candles and the Christians won’t let them and they are yelling on the news about the fact they can’t celebrate? Or is it the Atheists who correct everyone telling them it is sparkle season because they believe in nothing at all? Or is it the fact you buy gifts for people who probably will never appreciate them or will probably regift them anyway? Then what about the family members no one can stand? Then there is the weight gain. Oh how I hate the holidays.

I am trying to think of some things I like about Christmas if there is ever anything to like because according to me everyday should be Halloween. We can dress up, have fun, eat candy and watch scary movies that are an escape from the real world as well as the American Republican Party. Now let me tell you, those people, as well as the Christian Right, are truly scary. By the way, they are the ones who try to spoil Santa with the religious stuff.

But what do I like about Christmas? I do like the cards I get from friends/family with too much information about their lives. Sure it’s TMI but at the same time I like to hear how their children are doing. Rudolph, who saved Christmas because of a freakish red nose that glowed, is my idol letting me know that while you may get hell for being different those who think outside of the box and are true to who they are have the power to change the world. I consider myself a Progressive Christian and can appreciate a good live manger scene, lets just hope they are giving the donkey and child water breaks. As for the Jews I want them to have their time in the sun and welcome the Channakah protests as a change from the Christmas riff raff. While I get annoyed with the Sparkle Season zealots I do admire Frosty the Snowman, their secular lord and savior. I like the gifts I get, I know that much. And damn you if you think I am returning them. As for the disliked family members, it makes me feel that unlike my dysfunctional men I did not pick them and at the end of the day they add flavor to the world and I love them for that and that alone. The cookies, I am baking and eating them at the same time. The weight gain I could do without but that is why God invented the gym.

So perhaps Christmas isn’t that horrendous. Oh well, off to vacuum. My brother and sister in law are coming. And off to bake some Ginger Bread and sugar cookies xoxox April