Election Highlights

Yesterday it was a busy day online. With the election brewing and a lot on the line everyone had a platform. I went out before 9 am, after my kickboxing class to Barack the Vote. As a matter of fact I knew where to go. Signs kept saying Vote Aqui. Aqui, who was this man? Was he a Latino? I had never seen him before but his campiagn was aggressive. What did he stand for? Just kidding, vote aqui means vote here.

Now that being said there were some strong opinions yesterday online. While some say that if Romney won they would riot, there were others who took to the twitter. One such soul was brittd1178. On twitter her quote was "Everybody get out and vote so we can get this n***** out of office." After people ripped her a new one as well as numerous death threats the tweet was removed by the twat and then she took down her facebook page and then apologized because I'm sorry means you can erase your hate today and be a blantant bigot tomorrow. I don't know what was worse, the fact she wrote it or the fact it was favored by 219 people. Either way, this woman looks like the best customer Chick-fil-a has ever seen.

Another nutjob was Victoria Jackson. Why do they ever let what woman talk? She was an SNL star with a marginal act who played a uke. Her movies were forgettable, and now she is a ill-informed political activist. At least the Victoria Jackson from yesteryear was hot and it wasnt so bad to accidentally see her panties. Now she has tripled in size, probably because she is eating too many cookies with her Earl Grey during those Tea Parties. She should have stuck with gymnastics and pointless comedy, her waistline would have looked better and not to mention she wouldn't be so annoying. I want to know why she isn't the woman we all used to barely tolerate with the marginal talent. Then I remember she sat on her instrument and broke it. Victoria Jackson is the Antia Bryant of our time. Wait, Anita Bryant was good looking. But because it is double brownie day I have included two fat pics of the fat bitch I fought with all last night on twitter.

Well then there were some winners in this mix. There was Tammy Baldwin, who will be the first openly gay US senator from Wisconsin. Tammy seemed like a nice lady and a gracious winner. While I am straight identified, I don't believe anyone should be treated like a second class citizen in a country where they work and pay taxes. In the words of Patrick Henry, "No taxation without representation." Now the LGBTQ has representation

The votes rolled in and Obama was the winner. Some threw tantrums on the good old facebook and others like myself rejoiced. Our voices did count and we Baracked the vote. Big Bird lives on!

Now that being said, no matter who you voted for and no matter if they won or lost, you are still a winner and got off your ass. Whether you voted for Bam Bam or Mitten or anyone else it still meant you used your voice. For that you deserve some nice pics of April Brucker to finish out this blog. Some men want to keep me on their wall and some men want to put me in a binder. You can so either as long as you stay away from my uterus.

Enjoy those photos.

May they cheer you up if your man didn't win.

If your man did win may they add to the party.

Love April

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

877-Buy-Book

www.buybooksontheweb.com

Portion of the proceeds go to the victims of Hurricane Sandy

Using My Voice: Why We Should All Vote

Election Day is here. We are all sick of hearing about it. We have the Democrats promising more change. While there has been a lot done to clean up the proverbial oil spill Bush has left, there is still a lot of wreckage and our country is far from being perfect. There are the Republicans promising economic growth but unsure of how they are going to trim the budget while they take away the rights of women and gays. But the thing is, it takes many ideas to make the world go round. And therefore it takes many opinions to make this country work.

This morning I went to the polls. I didnt know when I was going to vote but the sign said voting here and then had aqui for our Spanish friends. When I went it was like a school assembly. Go here, go there. I saw friends and there was an odd bonding like we were all here doing something important. I saw a guy I knew from college on his way to work and he had just cast his ballot for Obama. Then a man I barely know from the gym but it friends with a million of my friends was eating a bananna and we exchanged a high five. We had just cast our ballot. We had just used our voices. We had just made our point.

There is all this mumbo jumbo that your voice doesn't count because of the electoral college. The truth of the matter is, your voice doesn't count only if you don't make it count. In my twenty-eight years of life I have learned you are only out of the ball game if you put yourself on the bench. I made my voice count. I made myself heard. I voted and when I marked my ballot I casted what I believed in.

When I voted for President Obama I said that women deserved equal protection under the law. We are not second class citizens. We deserve clinics like the Planned Parenthood because we need gyno care and cannot always afford it. I also protected my right to choose. My right to choose is not just to have an abortion but also to give my child up for adoption. My right to choose is to choose to keep my child and raise it. Under the law I have a choice. None are easy. But the Republicans want to take that away. They want to control my uterus. I am saying no.

When I vote for Obama I am also defending my rights as a stalking victim. There are conservative male critics who would say that someone like myself who had an ex who was abusive I deserved this. But because of liberals there are places where women like myself can seek counseling and shelter because it is not our fault. I also had a fan stalk me a few months ago. While I am slowly getting my confidence back, I know that again, there are places where I can seek protection and it is liberal legislation. It is people like them who tell me it's not my fault. It is people like them who protect women and don't want to take us back to 1950s and put us into binders.

When I vote for President Obama I am saying that I want my gay friends to have equal protection under the law as well. This means that they are not treated as second class citizens in a country where they work and pay taxes. This means that they have things like hospital visits with their partners and the right to marry without some misinformed bigot telling them that an outdated book condemns their so called choice when science has proven that this is all biology.

When I vote for President Obama I am saying that I support stem cell research. My brother and sister are both in research. Stem cells are currently helping people with cancer and AIDS. No one asks for cancer and despite the stigma no one asks for AIDS either. While the Christians selfishly use every excuse for their worn out pro-life platform, stem cells are saving lives. I am saying yes we can.

When I vote for President Obama I am saying that I want universal health care. I am a freelancer and sometimes things wax and wane with my job. While my lifestyle is my choice, a full time job would mean benefits but also take me away from my career. With universal healthcare I have coverage no matter what. Also it protects poor children who did not ask to be brought into this world with single mothers. They need healthcare too. What about them?

When I vote for Obama I am saying global warming is a concern. I live in a city that has been through a hurricane. We had an earthquake yesterday in Jersey and as a New Yorker I was sick from the aftermath. We supposedly have a snow storm this week. The Republicans deny this while I know this is a fact. We had no winter last year. Big industry has destroyed our planet. People in the Rockaways have no food, clothing or shelter. Mitt wants to take away FEMA. I am saying no. I am saying these people are helpless through no fault of their own. I am saying that they don't deserve to loose everything. I am saying you are out of touch Mitt.

When I vote for Obama I am saying thank you for cleaning up the economy and for making my job that nearly dried up in 2009 have a second life. As a freelancer I can tell you that around the middle of 2010 and 2011 when my job began picking up there were tremendous signs of growth in the economy. It was all because of the hard work of our president.

I espoused my views and maybe you disagreed. However no matter what your views are your job is to make your voice heard. Maybe you hate Obama. Maybe you hate the health care plan because you are pro-life and don't want to pay for my birth control or abortions. Maybe you are anti-gay marriage because of your religious beliefs. Maybe you are anti-stem cell because of your faith as well. Maybe you believe global warming is a myth. Maybe you are unemployed and furious. Maybe you believe Mitt will clean up the economy. If that is your belief, don't just take it to facebook like a numskull. Go and vote and make your voice heard.

There are many opinions in this world. I have friends and family members that are Republicans. It's not even because they are anti-gay or crazy but don't want the government in their business. Some are pro-life for religious reasons. I would say that they are still good people.

No matter what our beliefs are we must stand together and make this country work. We must make our voices heard on the ballot. We must let the people speak.

In the words of PA Republican senator Tim Murphy, "It is important that both parties work together to make things better."

So what I am trying to say is, if you want more Obama, VOTE!. If you want some Mitt, VOTE!

Don't just sit on your ass.

V-O-T-E!

Love April

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

www.buybooksontheweb.com

877-Buy-Book

Three dollars from every book sold go to The American Red Cross to help the victims of Hurricane Sandy.

Jesus Wrote My Blog: What He Thinks of the Election

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I am hi-jacking April's blog today to clear up a few things before the election. Some of my children, the ones on the short bus, claim to have read my book. Many cannot read to begin with so they probably listened to the book on tape version. But let's clear the air about the Bible shall we? For starters, I never wrote it. The Bible is basically a diary of the happenings of life before and after me. I am just that important, what can I say? I have millions of followers coupled with an absentee father who let me get nailed to a cross. My mother was a Virgin. My father was a carpenter. What I am trying to say is that MY STORY HAS BEEN LOST IN TRANSLATION MANY TIMES. Some people added their own spice and some things got mistranslated in general. I have been in Hebrew, Latin, Greek, and English just to name a few. Cool, huh? Random House will you give me a book deal?

Now that we are on the subject I have never, ever disrespected women in my scriptures. There has never been anything said about a woman's right to choose. I think women need to choose to respect themselves and have fun but be smart about it. After all, I shacked up with a lady of the night and she was one of my best followers.

Also, I never said anything about disrespecting gay people. Let them be gay. Let them marry men and women. As long as they are decent people. Gay men created Broadway and make pretty music. They make the world a more beautiful place. Lesbians are the best plumbers, contractors, and stage managers there are. Plus they have a monopoly on softball, volleyball and basketball. God made no mistake when he made these decisions. Did I mention they wrote a musical about me? Oh gosh I am melting. Hugh Jackman come on over!

This same misunderstanding and hate was the catylist beind the anti-Civil Rights movements in the South. Many preached that I said that blacks were better off as slaves and subserviants. I never said such a thing. If anything, in case you haven't heard the blacks make better music in their churches and I have more fun there. God also gave them the ability to make great music and to play basketball and football. Racism disappears when there is money involved. The devil created racism and God created money. You decide which one wins.

We have a black president right now too. He's got my vote.

As for our Jewish brothers and sisters, they might not believe in me and that's fine. They cook well and their mothers nag and I empathize because I grew up with a Jewish mother. That is why I know the importance of hard work, discipline, and balancing my check book. When they get to heaven I always make sure they are my accountants. God makes no mistakes.

I like the Arabs too. They believe I am a minor profit. While some people would kick and scream it's like being a huge star in America but only a supporting actor in Japan. I can live with it.

I feel like a woman should have the right to choose. No one goes to the abortion clinic because they are bored on a Thursday.

I feel like the gays should marry. Let everyone be excited about planning the wedding.

I feel like there should be socialized healthcare. Everyone regardless of who they are deserve to be cared for by a doctor. In case you did not hear I love all and come in the form of a beggar from time to time. That is why all my children should be cared for.

Pat Robertson is not my creation. He is an alien.

Mitt Romney is not a Mormon but secretly worships the devil. I don't take it personally, Satan needs her fans too. What, you thought the devil was a man? Come on, something that angry and deceitful must have some hormonal influx once a month.

So vote wisely tomorrow. Also, keep those affected by Sandy in your prayers. They did nothing to deserve this devistation. My father is doing his best to deliver. We all are. The end of the world is not coming you morons. Instead we have a few hundred more years of this. My dad is having too much fun with his toy creations, I am just walking on water to keep in shape, and the angels are playing poker. If the world ends it will be the end of our fun.

Son of God out