Deal Breaker

The last guy I dated was nice. Yes, nice. I said it. Nice like the weather. Nice like a day. Nice like a gesture gone wrong that burns down a house.

Nice.

When we got together, we couldn't have been more different. Actually, we had been friends, but not terribly close, for the better part of a year. To say we had very little in common was an understatement. However, he was hot. And women are like men but don't want to admit it. We will overlook the stupidity of a dude if he is HOTTTTTTTTT.......

To give you an idea of how stupid Sam was, he was from South Jersey which says everything. Like the cast members of the Jersey Shore show, he used more hair products than I did. He also doused his body with all too much Ax Body Spray, which was just a kind way of telling me he was with because I was the first thing he could club over the head on his way back to the proverbial cave. But it was also to gently remind me that once he clubbed something else who would probably blow him on the sidewalk, I was gone.

When we went out, Sam was often late. It was because the majority of his time was spent putting endless amounts of gel in his hair, like a high school girl going on a dance date. The male version of that girl too cute to carry a backpack in high school, Sam believed intuitively to be a big word. As a matter of fact, he bragged about being able to use it in a sentence just to impress me, but then thought Benjamin Franklin was a US President at one point.  Just like a dirty old man has arm candy, Sam was my arm candy. And boy was he tasty, especially when he didn't speak around my friends!

One could say I was the man in this relationship, because Sam often liked to talk about his feelings. He was the first to say he loved me which totally weirded me out, and he got upset that I "shut down" on him and "shut him out." Did I mention he was the one who liked the cuddle? Either way, Sam was always reaffirming his male-ness by trying to be Dudley Do-Right and paying on every date, even when I suggested we take turns.

As a "smart girl" who never got a date in high school, I always have had a chip on my shoulder about that. I wasn't allowed to date as well. Both things have left me somewhat feeble in the dating department. Up to Sam and post-engagement, most of my energy had been spent on my puppets and my career.

Despite the fact his knuckles probably dragged when he walked and were somewhat bloodied at times, Sam as I said was generous. He was always there for his friends, and was always right there when I needed him.

Then again, most dumb people typically are.

Everyone questioned why we were even together, because Sam was obviously not my intellectual equal. Heck, I didn't even know. Sam typically liked his women over made up and stupid, and I was neither. It's actually more apt to say that Sam liked straight up trash from Jersey, ass hanging out over underwear, track marks, and C-Section scar on the beach in the summer.

However, I had a pad down the street where Sam hung out and he needed a place to shower while he made it his main mission to get dick suave with other girls behind my back. Okay, he wasn't that dumb. Or as my father says, "Location, location!"

Yet he couldn't successfully cheat because that involves planning. I always told him he was more than welcome to, because I saw how he oogled over other, sluttier women like pieces of steak he wanted to ravage raw. Whenever I offered to give him $20 to get out of my site and mess with someone else he would get mad. I assured him I was just helping him be an efficient dickhead. So when I say he was stupid I do not lie. Man could not even cheat successfully!

Anyway, there was a party where we were watching the first set of the Republican debates. Many of our mutual friends would be there. For the most part, many of us were just watching this battle of nitwits just to mock it. Most of us had voted for Obama not once if not twice, and some of us even voted socialist. Sam was going just to hang out. Deep opinions really weren't his thing, that would involve thought and Sam didn't do that.

We began watching, and making fun of Ted Cruz who is like the love child of Elmer Fudd. Then there was Scott Walker who was just plain repulsive, especially when he began to talk about reproductive rights. After which Marco Rubio seemed like he was almost smart, until he came out against women and gays. Rand Paul and Ben Carson were mere chorus members. And then there was Donald J. Trump.

Trump began his xenophobic rant about Muslims, terrorists, illegals, and building a wall. At that moment, Sam felt inspired. He screamed at the top of his lungs, excited, "DONALD TRUMP IS OUR NEXT PRESIDENT! HE IS THE MAN WHO CAN MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL TO KEEP THE ILLEGALS OUT AND FROM INVADING AMERICA!!!!!!"

At first we thought he was kidding, only to realize he was dead serious.

The room went silent and many of us bit our lips in horror. I got a few sympathetic glances, mostly from people of my same mind set who wondered why I let my moron talk in public. Ashamed, I looked down, horrified and embarrassed. Sam was not done. He continued, "WE NEED TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN AND GET RID THE OF MEXICANS AND TERRORISTS!"

When he got no response, sincere and full of zeal, the socially conscious simpleton I was dating bellowed, "WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL AND DONALD TRUMP IS THE MAN TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!!!"

Damn, he had been so much cuter when he had just hung on my arm, smoked a cigarette like a bad boy, and acted tough without saying a word. Now my brain ached at the thought of another moment with him. Brian, a mutual friend of ours who is a writer, made the mistake of trying to fix stupid. This is how their ill-fated exchange went:

Brian: Sam, Donald Trump wouldn't make a good president. He's not a true politician.

Sam: Yeah, but we have had generations of career politicians and they have run this country into the ground. We need a true, leader, a businessman.

Brian: Sam, he's the host of Celebrity Apprentice.

Sam: AND HE WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

Brian: No comment.

Sam: WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL!!!!!!!!!! KEEP MEXICO OUT. CLOSE OUR BOARDERS AND DEPORT THOSE FUCKING ILLEGALSSS!!!!!!

Brian: It's not that simple, Sam. Some of them have children that live here.

Sam: DEPORT THE CHILDREN, TOO!!!!

At that moment I lied and said I wasnt feeling well and left. There was no way I would last the whole debate and acknowledge I was there with this imbecile. All night there had been some tartlette parading around in sleazy garb. At one time I would have been jealous but now all I wanted Sam to do was to go home with her and have long hours of sex with someone who would have too failed any high school class. Maybe she would have his baby and they could pollute the gene pool. He was certainly getting sweet over her bad, spray on tan which is all the rage in this cest pool where he is from.

Just then I got a text from my friend Wilson, a pansexual who was often at odds with Sam. It was more because he thought Sam was as dumb as a brick wall, and Wilson was correct. Sam always felt Wilson talked down to him, and Wilson did not because he was mean or nasty, but Sam was that slow to the catch. Mind you, Sam was jealous that Wilson and I spent so much time together, but it wasn't sexual because Wilson was dating a man at the time. Rather, Wilson could use big words other than intuitively, and unlike Sam could have a conversation about something deep.

Wilson said via text, "Don't worry, I still love you. We all do."

That night I prayed to God Sam would cheat on me. I prayed he would find himself in bed with that cave girl. I prayed if not the cave girl this desperate, unsuccessful, needy, aspiring actress named Jenny who thought he was amazing. Maybe this would be the night that she would send him a nude selfie and I could be rescued!!!!! If not Jenny, maybe Julianna, a rich girl who had been to rehab multiple times with her own clothing line. Yes, any one of them. Although broke, I would still pay them. I wanted to be free from the dumb ass clown who was sucking the air that was going to my brain!

Alas, it did not happen. When I got home Sam send me a text wanting to know if he could bring me Advil for my headache. He said the debate wasn't the same without me. I just wanted to scream, "YOU PAGAN WENCHES ARE USELESS! WHY CAN'T ANY OF YOU BE YOUR EASY SELVES AT THE CORRECT TIME!!!!!!?????????!!!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?"

Weeks later, we broke up. It didn't end well. How could it? As I mentioned, he was voting for Donald Trump. Although the deal breaker would be he lied, it wasn't about another woman but something else, the end had come weeks before. Sure, he was pretty. Alas, sometimes pretty things are better seen and not heard.


www.AprilBrucker.TV

Introducing Donald J. Tramp

Comment whether you love me or hate me. This is the land of the first amendment. We are all entitled to our opinions

David Duke, Stormfront, and Other Things Explained

The other day I found myself explaining David Duke to my housemates. Yes, the former KKK leader and ex-Louisiana Congressman who endorsed Trump. While Duke was vocal about not liking Trump’s stand on Israel, Duke got right behind the Donald. Yes, the Donald who says he is not a career politician but is parsing and double speaking just like the rest of them. Donald.

David Duke is an interesting man. He does not like it when you introduce him as an ex Grand Wizard of the KKK although he was. Our pal David seemed to forget his slogan was that he “wanted to bring the KKK into the boardroom.”

In front of the symbol of white European heritage aka missing teeth and trailer livin

Despite the efforts of others, David Duke was elected as a one term Congressmen in Louisiana as I explained. During his time in office he continued to sell white power literature. While in college, he was known to prance around in a Nazi uniform. Just the kind of balanced individual you want representing your district.

Years ago, Scott Walker, another nauseating piece of breathing fecal matter, tried to block David Duke from running for office for moral reasons. Walker wants to consider a fetus a person under the law, and wants to have abortion fall under the pretense of murder, and wants all women seeking abortion to be prosecuted for murder. Charming man, especially since he’s not footing the bill to raise the child and thus creates a welfare state by being the morality police.

Duke fired back at Walker for trying to ban him from running cutting him off at his knees, explaining that he should be on the ballot like any other candidate and it shouldn’t be one set of rules for him and another for someone else because of his past. Walker likened him to Jeffrey Dahmer. Duke decimated him some more. The callers agreed. Put Duke on the ballot. Let the people decide if he sinks or swims. While I am not a fan of Duke, I wish Scott Walker would just walk into the sunset and vanish forever.

Walker: Moral Ranger

The funny thing about elections is the numbers will speak for themselves. Somewhere, some idiot who’s missing his teeth and can barely read will vote for him. The educated will vote for their person. We are seeing it right now with Donald Trump.

The Duke is actually a smart guy. When he speaks about both the Revolutionary War and Civil War, as an eternal student of history I am impressed by his knowledge and grasp on the cold, hard facts. However, seconds later he ruins himself by ranting about how the media is controlled by the Jewish conspiracy and the Zionist empire. How the Jews control everything. And how the Jewish problem must be contained and stopped, and of course we cannot forget his bit about how the Holocaust is just another Jewish conspiracy. Then he rants about how he is a white right’s activist campaigning for the rights of European Americans everywhere. Face to palm….it all goes down hill from there.

Dr. Duke is kind of a colorful character. Yes, he has a PhD in history but that is sort of questionable. The institution he got it from in the Ukraine is one that notoriously houses Holocaust denier academics like himself. Colloquially known as The Institute of Hate, it is notorious for it’s Anti-Semetic bend. It’s accredation was yanked back in 2006, but apparently they gave David Duke a degree one can wipe their ass with.

Perhaps a candid shot from the cave where he lives......it's David Duke!

Dr. Duke was living in the US, but then defrauded his followers by telling them he was broke and swindled them out of money. Then he decided he didn’t have to pay taxes. Both times he swore it was the government and the Jewish media out to get him for speaking the truth. If that isn’t seeing your role in the circumstances in your life I don’t know what is. So perhaps we should call him Dr. Dick, because in all actuality the PhD in history is not technically even real.

Because he is a convicted felon and an objectionable human being complete with Holocaust denying, another tool of the apparent Jewish media, he has lived in several different places over the years and each and every time has found himself deported. First it was Austria, but then he denied the Holocaust which is illegal there so they deported him. Then he went to Italy where he was deported as well. For a time he was in The Czech Republic where he was deported as swiftly as he came. Last we checked he was in some undisclosed locale in a cold, barren part of Eastern Europe, possibly because most people do want to kill him. He says he lives in the US but no one knows for sure. Either way, he broadcasts a webshow out of this location, and fights with people on it about topics.

David Duke skypes into shows from this undisclosed cave, and for the most part they make fun of him. But what do you want? The man lives in a cave. Don’t ever expect rational behavior from anyone living in a cave.

Recently, The Duke endorsed Donald Trump. The ex-dominator of the dumb, often on youtube his followers will explain, “You cannot Juke the Duke.” And now Donald Trump has taken the crown and David Duke has had to give it the okay. I get it.

He can't be the face of white hate.....he's orange as a pumpkin

The whole Duke Family unit is a little unique to say the least. His former wife, Chloe Hardin, now Chloe Black, is active in the movement as well. She met her first husband in a white student group, because that is a healthy place to meet men, probably on par with AA, but oops, there might be black men in AA so nevermind. They were married for ten years and had two daughters. However, David’s gambling problem broke that marriage up. Chloe kept the two kids, he left.

Of course one must also know that Ms. Chloe was sluttin it up white power style. She slept with several other white power neo-Nazi types before landing on her ex’s best friend Don Black. Ordinarily that is a no no, but in this family they believe in sharing their fried chicken and sharing their women white trash…..I mean white power style.

David Duke with Chloe Hardin, the babe of the white power movement

Don Black operates Stormfront, a white supremacist website. Apparently it is a safe place for European Americans to express their discomfort at racial mixing, interracial dating, and the immigration issues. Boy do they hate Obama. Often on Stormfront, young people who probably need to join an after school club or sports organization, are dismayed at how people freely mix let alone date outside their race. They feel the white race is dying. No comment. And of course it’s the Jews conspiring against them…..and if that line isn’t so 1938 I don’t know what is.

Don Black, on the internet all day in his trailer writing nasty things. If the man had a job, he wouldn't have time to be causing so much trouble on the internet......

One young man wrote: The Jews at my school are plotting against me. They talk about me behind their back at their meeting. They were even taking photos of me.

If that isn’t well adjusted I don’t know what is.

Another promising scholar wrote: ‘My mother took my copy of Mein Kampf and wants me to see a therapist. She thinks I am having ‘issues.’ The only issue I have is going to therapy because it was invented by Jews.”

As the hits keep rolling in, perhaps the best one is, “How do I come out to my parents as a white, nationalist skinhead? Any ideas?”

I told my mom this one. She told me to write in suggesting the kid tell his parents he was gay. Then him being a white, nationalist skinhead would be no biggie, right?

Despite the fact they dipped their magic sticks in the same white power slut, Don Black still tolerates his best buddy David Duke posting on his forum and even commenting. Don Black adores Duke as a preacher of the movement and an activist for the rights of all European Americans. David and Don have a very weird relationship to say the least. Most current husband’s don’t want the last man their wife laid with around. But again, a family that sleeps together stays together……kindof.

To put the more fun in this dysfunctional brood, Don Black has been out of work for years. Despite his complaints that minorities and immigrants collect welfare, Don Black has been enjoying the best that the state of Florida has to offer in the area of benefits for the indigent. To top it off, Mr. Black hates Obama, but at the moment might be receiving Obamacare. Like everyone who lives in a trailer that hangs a Confederate flag in the front, Mr. Black seems to vote against his own interests.

Since money is tight and white power does not pay the power bill, Chloe Black has taken a job as an assistant to sugar baron Pepe Fanjul. One of her projects is as a spokewoman for Glades Academy, an institution to help poor children of minority migrant workers out of poverty and into the classroom. Translated, she is using these children as a pawn to help her white hate empire because her lazy bigot husband can’t get a real job. Charming.

As if this family isn’t complicated enough, Don Black’s son Derek has been pimped out on the white power circuit since he has been a wee lad. As a teen, he even had a white power radio show, because why not? However, since going to college, Derek has denounced the white power movement. Don Black, while not formally disowning his son, whines that he has lost a fellow warrior. Others on Stormfront have verbally crucified this young man for finding the brain he never knew he had. And then they all are at crisis about what happened to this young man and why he went rogue.

Young Derek, the only one with his shit together

Personally, I think Derek got out of the trailer park in the back woods and got a glimpse of the world. Not only did he learn that his views were archaic and reprehensible, but they were also completely and utterly bullshit. Then Derek, bless his little heart, discovered that his parents had lied about everything, and that is when the true breakthrough began.

Derek saw people of all races living peacefully and working together. He saw interracial relationships that worked. Derek probably also made friends with black kids, and he probably made friends with Jewish kids who knew nothing about this conspiracy. As Derek discovered the immigrants, minorities and Jews were not working to keep him and other European Americans down, this is when the breakthrough began. And perhaps he discovered he even liked black women, and not in that Thomas Jefferson, Sally Hemmings kind of way.

Now Derek seems to be the functional success story of this family that has a lot to figure out. He is not living in a cave which is a good start. He is not living in a trailer, which while better than a cave is not that much better. He isn’t collecting welfare while hating the government that is giving it to him. He isn’t a hypocrite making excuses. He isn’t using minority children to fund his hate. Derek is doing alright. He is running free and running out. We have all had to overcome adversity of some kind, but him probably more than a lot of people.

Maybe they need a session on Dr. Phil.......but then again, therapy was invented by the Jews, right? Sigh McSigh Sigh.........(Wowsa!)