Monday, September 4, 2017

A Thousand Miles (Vanessa Carlton)

It's Labor Day and my last big day to wear white. I am observant of these things. Memorial Day you start to wear white and Labor Day the white goes away. On Easter white is welcome, but there are other pastels for the day that are appropriate.

Whenever I think of Labor Day I think of the movie White Chicks. It's the Wayans Brothers at their best. It's funny and a little silly. And if you remember when Paris Hilton was someone, before becoming eclipsed by Kim Kardashian, it brings a tad of nostalgia. It brings you back to a time when Perez Hilton was fat. Lindsay Lohan was pleasantly in and out of rehab. Britney Spears was shaving her head. And Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston were alive.

Labor Day has always been an unlucky weekend for me. I have gotten dumped several times on Labor Day. Then I was on the standup tour from hell where we were stranded. After which there as a friend break up and the stomach flu. The worst was when the guy I was seeing went to prison and he didn't tell me he was going.

Talk about the best/worst call ever, "Listen baby, you know that fine I was paying at the court house. Turns out they love me long time and I am not coming home for another three years."

Yesterday I did a photo shoot with a semi-well known photographer. A few weeks from now my merch store opens. I am also taking steps to apply to graduate programs with my writing. I am also producing a weekly show and am starting to headline.

The good news is, the only people who seem to be testing the judicial system lately are my family members. Which shows that some things are consistent. And when things are consistent you know there is right in the world. So bottom line, none of my boyfriends are going to prison. I also can't get dumped because that would involve having a relationship and home girl is having her fun and doing her.

I am going up to Woodstock to visit my buddy. It will be fun. There will be a lot of lesbians. New York State was the first to legalize gay marriage. So to celebrate I will be looking for my next mistake and next big comedy bit. Hey, I am equal opportunity, kiddos.

And if all else goes wrong, there is the uber white girl anthem "A Thousand Miles."

My last chance to wear white
Buy My Book. Proceeds Go to Houston Flood Victims

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