Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Year's Eve

Today is New Year's Eve. The holidays are almost over which is a good thing. I really didn't get to experience them this year because work was so busy. However, it was nice to see my family. Both my mother's parents-my material grandparents-died this year. This was the first Christmas without my grandparents. My mom soldiered through. People tell her that she had her dad, my Pop Pop, for almost 96 years. Yes she did but it still sucks. She had her mom for 88. It still sucks. It sucked not going to my grandparents house and seeing their squirrel named Jinx. To give you an idea, the thing looked like a ground hog. When asked how it got so big my Pop Pop said, "Leftover meals on wheels."

This year has been many shades. Careerwise with the writing it has been good. My book was rated a Must Read by Mensa. NYU and Brown were kind enough to make it a part of their collections. I did a signing event at Brown during graduation weekend. Skipper and Wendell, who wrote a comic book on genetics, shared the stage with me that weekend. It was something nice I could do with my family. I also completed my audiobook. My sound engineers are still having nightmares because I sound like a redneck chipmunk who took a puff on the meth pipe before she reads. I also really got carried away and made some new videos. I became a regular blogger for the Huffington Post. Oh and I even did a book signing event in my hometown and spoke to my old high school. And I took on the head writer, executive producer, and talent role all in one on several projects. And I am taking huge steps with the musical version of my book. Oh and I was in the reading of a cool new play, on Wendy Williams, and got recognized by fans on the street. Also began work with the Gotham Comedy Foundation. Things were good.

In other ways this year had it's challenges. Not everyone can appreciate success when it comes to hard work. There were several people who proved to be spiritual challenges in my path. One was the current girlfriend of an ex of mine who tortured me relentlessly this year. I won't go into detail because why. She is sober for about an hour a day if that. Truth: I gave her too much energy and let me make me so angry that I got sick to my stomach. No one is worth that much energy. I ran into several people like that this year.

I also got into a street fight this summer. To make a long story short a crazy man grabbed me and I hit him. Like Son of Sam, I experienced several weeks of rage. However, he had a history of this behavior towards women in my neighborhood. Suffice to say, my ninja skills scared him to another block. (More like I stepped on his toe, spit on him, and ran). Still it brought back memories of the psychotic fiance I had when I was younger. After again getting so sick I thought I was going to implode from anger, I realized again, no one was worth my peace of mind.

I also cleaned up my diet this year. Some of it was because as I get older, it's important I eat well. Some of it is my grandmother lost her battle to diabetes this year. And some of it is I like extreme sports. Instead of take out I am grocery shopping. Turns out you save money that way.

While I look forward to 2014, I am weary. I have a lot on the burner. Some of the burners could light. Some of them could burn out. All of them could light. All of them could burn out. I have been in this spot before where they all burned out. I don't know what is next for me careerwise and am kind of nervous. I have done a few nice auditions, submitted some packets, the works. I am ready for the next thing. It is stressful though. If none of it happens, I don't know what I will do. I am just scared shitless. I will not lie. I am also kind of excited. It probably won't be all fire works but won't end in disaster. Still my mind always goes to disaster. But it will be fun to see what the next adventure is. Fear and excitement are always the lanterns guiding us in the cave of the unknown.

I know living in fear isnt the answer but it is the easy thing to do. Maybe I need to shower, do some grocery shopping, and hope Baby New Year has big ears.

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

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