Winter

I am beginning to accept that it is winter. For as much as I hate it and want to fight it. I just feel drained, depressed, and angry. Lately I have been getting lots of attention in the television and press. I was in this same spot for better or for worse a few years ago when by accident like Alice in Wonderland I fell into this rabbit hole honestly yet did more in the course of a week than some do in their entire plain of existence. Here I am again. Before I thought it was going to be one big party. Then it wasn’t and all it was seemed like a struggle that never ended. It was like I could hear fate laughing. I am at the same spot yet again. Can I hear the cackle of fate?

I am back on the prowl for a roommate. I had two in a year. While the one was long term and the other wasn’t it felt like wow, am I really that bad to live with? I just remember the girl I lived with for almost two years and I loved us some Lifetime Movies. Winter of 2009 was pretty shitty as a whole. There was no money to be had and I paid for my groceries with my laundry money. Not to mention I knew a lot of people who died. Then again, people tend to die in the winter. Last winter a friend of mine was murdered, slaughtered. That funeral was brutal. A part of me wishes he could have waited until spring to pass and then he could have literally been pushing up daisies and then the cold wind wouldn’t have added to the grief factor we all felt. On the other hand, this guys death reunited me with friends I had sort of lost touch with because life does that. Not only am I glad to have them back, but they are the truest and bluest friends and I feel terribly that they ever had to leave.

Been finding out who my friends are and aren’t lately. Now that its official in some cases it’s a relief. Still when you realize Judas has been at the Last Supper all this time you want to know why didn’t you cash in on the pieces of silver? Maybe I am not the Golden Child but you know what, who cares because the Golden Child is a bad Eddie Murphy movie.

I found a pic of myself from a year ago. I was on a radio show with May and like this pic of myself. Maybe you will too. Love April

Luckily this was the radio, because we got these clothes out of your local dumpster