My Corona

Coronavirus. She is on your TV new station. It’s all everyone is talking about. The coronavirus is closing this, that is cancelled, life is cancelled, even the coronavirus conference is cancelled. Coronavirus is getting some serious press. Climate Change called, “Bitch, who’s your publicist?”

Not a fan of Miss Corona at the moment. April Unwrapped, my one woman show, previewed in Las Vegas last month. I had worked my entire life for this and we were getting ready to open my regular run for my residency and BAM! Coronavirus hit and everything has been postponed indefinitely. This is a surreal kick in the heart to say the least, as my line of work is filled with hustle and rejection even when doomsday is not looming upon us.

More than anything, this has been irking me as a long time HIV/AIDS activist. As someone who has many friends in the long term survivor community, I appreciate the stress and fear surrounding Miss Corona. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention more people were dead within the first month of AIDS, and it took the CDC THREE YEARS to assemble a task force. It was only after activists who came before me took radical action. Or as Mark S. King of My Fabulous Disease explained, that it was convenient to ignore HIV/AIDS because “the right people” were dying, meaning LGBTQ, addicts, and POC. Unfortunately, only something becomes a crisis when it hits the straight, white, cis community.

While the privilege of the dominant culture and double standard around who matters have reduced me to screaming matches with people, I also do not believe anyone regardless of who they are should perish by coronavirus. I have been raging against the like of Katie Jo Williams aka Corona Katie who believe coronavirus is manufactured myth not to get Trump re-elected, or as she said on Twitter, “I am going to get a burger at Red Robin because I am an American and that is what I do.” So as an American you do not care about the immunosuppressed like long term HIV survivors who consider flu season hell, people with COPD, cancer patients going through chemo, children with asthma and others at risk? Look, I know it sucks but we have to do what is necessary until this is under control.

What is most disheartening is not only the selfish panic buying but racism I am seeing against Asian in the form of tweets, memes, and rhetoric. There is a story circulating that a guy ate a bat and BAM, we have coronavirus. (Okay, maybe coronavirus’s publicist needs a new spin on this). This is reminiscent of the racist myth during AIDS that some African in the forest had sex with a money and BAM, we have AIDS. (I hope AIDS fired her publicist after that one). Crappy jokes aside to lighten the mood, as an activist I find this ignorance disgusting, but a waste of valuable time and energy that could be used not only to educate others about transmission about coronavirus, but how to prevent that transmission not only to themselves but to others around them, especially the most vulnerable. Add in the disregard for science by our president and vice president and wow, I am like a drag queen who just lost the pageant on a technicality.

As I was marinating in my resentment that the world sucked and we were all gonna die last week, I was involved in a minor car accident when my car was struck by a vogue taxi cab. After seeing my life flash before my eyes, dealing with the drama that comes with an accident and Metro PD, I was star trekking in the Twilight Zone. When I got home and saw the coronavirus coverage on TV I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t do it. Yeah Miss Corona might get me, but that rogue taxi cab did a much better job of nearly getting me. Bye Felicia.

Since that time I have been focusing on myself, but most importantly self-care. Like Shakespeare did when the theatres closed during the plague, I have been writing more prose, and perhaps I will take a stab at a sonnet. I have been practicing more with my puppets, perfecting our routines so we are not just ready for the opening whenever it comes, but sharper than ever when things get back to normal. I am going outside, enjoying the sunshine, and enjoying the dogs. In a few weeks, it will be warm enough here to plant tomatoes.

A quote from another long time AIDS activist friend comes to mind, “Pace yourself.” My rage is okay and well placed, but right now, I just got to do me. I see a bath bomb in my near future. When things get back to normal, I want to call Miss Corona, “Bitch, I’m opening in Vegas. Who’s your publicist?”

Live From Las Vegas

I live in Las Vegas now, which makes me a Las Vegan even though I am hardly a vegan as I had bacon earlier at the buffet. For over ten years, I was a New Yorker. My colon and my mouth were as dirty as the subways I rode. I would call the subway quick and dirty, but when the trains are being rerouted it’s slow and dirty. The thing about New York that most people don’t understand is millions of different people from different backgrounds are crammed so closely together it’s a miracle folks don’t flip their shit and kill each other. In the summer when it’s sweltering, it’s not just a mere miracle but rather an act of God.

Being a Las Vegan, I now take a car. No, I don’t drive. Hell, I don’t even have a license because ten years in New York I didn’t need one. Instead I am the mooch who gets rides from other people. I’ll do them a favor in exchange for the ride. The thought of learning how to drive is scary and exciting. I haven’t been behind a wheel in a minute, but New York has made me testy. Someone cuts me off and I just go on a blue streak. People out here don’t swear as much as New Yorkers though. Maybe they will have a bleep button handy.

I am used to the subway. When it’s crowded there is the downside of the germs of strangers all over you. Upside, when it is cold those same germs and halitosis keep you warm. In New York there is constant entertainment on the subway, from folks practicing their craft to homeless people with a creative hustle to get a dollar. We have street performers in Vegas, but the homeless out here aren’t nearly as creative. Not knocking someone’s right to exist but the homeless in New York work on those pitches and they know how to deliver. If I had my druthers, I would bring some of them into a network meeting with me to sell my ideas.

The subway is also a good place to reset. I have cried on many a New York City subway after a bad audition, bad set, and bad breakup and I have had more of all three than I want to admit. Most people leave you to cry alone anonymously with the circus inside your head. Every once in a while someone says, “I know you are having a bad day and I hope it gets better.” That moment of kindness makes you realize your misery is temporary and mostly self-brought, and if you stop being such an idiot it will get better.

Back in the day when I lived downtown I would jog across the Brooklyn Bridge and the subway would rumble next to me. The Throwback at Noon on Hot 97 blaring out my ears. My feet would hit the pavement and the angst would leave my system. Angst that I would never be a good ventriloquist comedian, angst that people would always laugh at me and shut the door in my face, angst that I couldn’t conquer New York or do this adult thing for real, angst over some moron I had the hots for. Yes, and they wanted to charge me as an adult.

The subway next to me always brought me back to reality, the reality that the bridge could collapse and I would die upon hitting the East River. Neuroses aside, it made me take a breath. It made write notebooks filled with bad jokes after my run. It made me shower and hit an open mic where I often bombed, but kept getting up to eventually craft a routine and my hard work started to shut a lot of idiots up. I channeled some of my angst into an online blog on a now defunct site for comedians where I overshared and sometimes lacked humility but was never without brutal candor when it came to myself. People read it and complimented my writing. They also let me know the adult thing is overwhelming forever and it is. You just learn not to take it personally. As for the morons I thought I had the hots for, all were bullets I dodged that were dumb enough to marry women who make them miserable. Hey, we all get what we deserve.

Now here I am in a new city with new challenges. So far there is no place I have found where I can cry anonymously. Sure, there is no one on the sidewalk and that dream can become a reality, but then there’s sunshine and scenery and so much for the anonymous cry. Then I can’t anonymous cry at my house because I live with four other people. Sure, I could shut a door but then two dogs come and sit by me, forcing me to pet them and then give me doggy kisses filled with love. Then I realize it’s useless to anonymous cry because I am feeling a sensation I don’t think I ever felt in New York City……..happiness. So then I decide to scrap the anonymous crying and focus on the future that feels as bright and warm as the sunshine surrounding me.

I have gained 6 pounds since moving here, the buffet and bacon not helping. However, I feel better than I have probably ever. I had fun debuting my new one woman show, April Unwrapped, and am ready for more adventures. Driving is scary but it might also be fun. It will be a new way to see the world and if this happy thing wears off and I need an anonymous cry, the car might be a good place to do it.  But as I mentioned this happy thing might stick. I did a show last night and no curse words. Maybe both happy and Las Vegas are going to stick.

Regardless, the sun is out for a short time and two doggies wanna play. While I’ve had fun talking to you, I gotta go play with my four legged friends and be HAPPY. No anonymous crying today. 

That's So Vegas

Hey everyone, just did an amazing appearance on That's So Vegas. It was one of the many wonderful events that were a part of the most breathtaking weeks I have had in years. Christine McKellar is charming and talented, and to say I had a great time was an understatement.

Not only was it incredible to be profiled, but many well-known Vegas headliners have been on the show. This includes but is not limited to The Bronx Wanderers and Kelly Clinton Holmes. I know this is just the beginning of a new chapter of my life that includes splitting my time between NYC, Las Vegas, and LA. Also this new chapter has me earning my MFA in creative non-fiction, modelling more, and being a mother to my 19 puppet children.

Enjoy my interview, and hopefully Christine will have me back again. Grateful and blessed for all I have been given. God is good (all the time).

New Adventures

Tomorrow I begin a new chapter in my life. I have been accepted into Antioch University's Low Residency MFA Creative Writing Program in Los Angeles. Yes, LA. She who has no car let alone license is going to the very city where you need one. It will be a firm and shocking change of pace from the subways that I have grown so used to.

I have always wanted to do more with my writing and now is my chance. Plus I am entering a program where I can work, have a life, and am committed for 10 days a semester. That way I can continue my comedy and tour. I am also networking in a city where one gets eaten up easily. And I am getting to know the place without being tied into a lease before I really know where I want to live and if I even want to live there at all. And it is creating a chance to be bicoastal. Additionally, I am paving the way for a career in academia if I so choose to go that way.

And yes, I will have a masters.

I applied on a whim because I felt I needed a change and got in. There are some family members who aren't supportive and that's okay. I am an adult and don't need their approval. Sure, it stings in it's own way. But at the same time, I am paying for this myself and as an adult, I don't need to justify my decision let alone myself.

I will be in LV/LA for basically all of December. I will be filming a TV show in Las Vegas, going to school in LA, and then spending Christmas in town because of all I have to do.

I look forward to this new adventure. I say I was raised in Pittsburgh and grew up in NYC. Now it looks like I will become an adult in LA

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Interview With Alain Nu: The Man Who Knows

1. How long have you been a mentalist? And how did you get started in the art of mentalism?

I became interested in mentalism around the time I was 8. I first learned about mentalism from (I believe) a book by Walter Gibson, called, The Master Magicians. It mentioned Alexander, who was the original "Man Who Knows." Mind reading and mental powers has actually always intrigued me. Around the same time I saw Uri Geller on the Merv Griffin show and was hooked. It was that combination of the two: One guy who I read about, and a more 'modern' guy who I actually got to see on TV, that showed me that entertainment could be expressed in a purely mental way.

Alain with his crystal

2. How are you the man that knows?

The very first Man Who Knows was Claude "Alexander" Conlin who was made famous for this title almost exclusively because of the entrancing posters of the vaudeville era, which depicted this obviously (non-Hindu) caucasian man wearing a Turbin and peering into a crystal ball. The posters of him continued to live past his own very successful career as a stage performer. So, I am not the first Man Who Knows. However, in my opinion, the title of Man Who Knows is a very specific one that depicts a mystery man that is neither a magician or a medium. Originally, I was dubbed the Man Who Knows by my manager, Clinton Billups. He had heard a reporter make reference to it after having seen me perform, and he was drawn to trademark it and dub me as "The Man Who Knows." So although, I may not be the original, if you Google 'The Man Who Knows", I am the top Man Who Knows ranking. This may not mean much to anyone else, but it's the little things in life, right?

3. Spoon bending is a part of your show-you can bend spoons with your mind. Can you let us in on that secret or not?

No! It's the cool and surprising part of my show... and now that we've mentioned it, I guess we'll strike surprising. Spoon bending is still, in some ways, a mystery to me. Sometimes people in my audience have been known to spontaneously bend spoons that they, themselves, bring to my programs. This is the original "Geller effect" in action. I talk about this (and I interview Uri Geller) in my most recent book, State Of Mind, The Man Who Knows Reveals the Secrets of Mind Over Matter. It is oddly hard to explain just what causes metal to sometimes bend so easily. Sometimes the multiple bends that my audience members can make in the spoons they bring, are even more intricate than the ones I bend myself in the show. So I invite you to try it—in fact, the first time we ever met face to face was in NYC and a spoon bent in your hand, remember?

Alain bending spoons on network TV

4. You have performed all over the world. What is your favorite place you have performed? And where can you be seen regularly?

I am really excited to be the Resident Man of Mystery at the famous Watergate Hotel in Washington DC. There, I perform for private groups weekly, however we are right now finalizing arrangements for a ticketed show which I will be premier there called "Secret Asian Man". No recording devices

are allowed, but even if you do, you'll mysteriously find an 18 1/2 half missing gap of audio, he he. Currently, the Watergate is my favorite place to perform. It is a beautiful and historical hotel and the people who come there are pretty excited to be entertained by me. However, the most amazing place I have ever headlined would have to be The Magical Empire at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. It would be hard to explain if you have never been there before, but just my stage alone had a curved back wall of an ancient Chinese mural and flanking both sides of the performing area were two very large, ornate dragons with smoke that subtly wafts out of their nostrils. Since it closed in 2004, nothing to this date has even come close to the spectacle and grandeur of The Magical Empire.

Alain's billboard in Las Vegas

5. You have written several books. What are they and where can they be purchased?

I have two books available on Amazon. State Of Mind: The Man Who Knows Reveals Secrets of Mind Over Matter and Picture Your ESP: Reveal Your Hidden Powers With The Nu ESP Test. You can find them in bookstores, and online retailers like Barnes and Noble and Amazon in both paperback and Kindle editions. State of Mind is really a book that shows you example after example of how to think like a mentalist. It shows you how to do a few simple and beginner mentalist tricks that I have developed, then it shows you how being a mentalist is actually not about the trick, but about how, with an open mind, you can interact with reality in truly mysterious ways.

Alain's fans love his books

6. You had your own TV show on TLC. What was it called and when did it run?

My show for TLC was The Mysterious World Of Alain Nu and premiered in 2005. It was even seen internationally, including Continental Flights from Europe to Los Angeles. The only reason I know that is because I would sometimes get fan mail from people on those flights. It was an amazing experience, but I would be so much better now, if I was ever given another chance to give it another go. As you know, working on TV is totally different than live performance. So the next producer that gives me that challenge, know that I can take it to new heights.

The master at work

7. If you could have dinner with any mentalist from the past who would it be?

All my life, I have been known as an "underground mentalist" and part of that has to do with what constitutes that term. Most underground guys, are creators, and that doesn't mean that they would have had to be god performers. They just need to be clever artists that know the craft, like screenplay writers are to the film industry. Those are my peeps. Some of my closest friends are/were underground kings of their time. So if I could have dinner with anyone, I would want it to be Theodore Annemann. He was a true artist in the craft of mentalism. He was also a bit of a tortured artist, as he ended his own life two weeks before an important show he was expected to perform. But it's the artists within the field who are some of my closest friends, so if I had only one to choose, then I choose Annemann.

8. What is next for “The Man Who Knows?”

That's the one question that I never know. But I can say this: I am moving on up!

Alain amazing this group of people

9. What is your star sign?

Leo on the Cusp of Virgo. My birthday was actually the same day as the eclipse this year, so since you know me, that was quite significant... Lunar shit can't stop me now.

10. What do you eat for breakfast?

Most of the time, it's just coffee. Is that bad?

April Unwrapped: My Naked Dreams Revealed

Holla At Your Girl

Seasonal Maladjustment and Other Business

If you have ever walked the tight rope known as 12 Step and self-help, you know about HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. They should highlight Tired. I make all my terrible decisions when I am tired. Once when I was tired I withdrew my rent out of the wrong bank account putting myself almost 2 grand in the red. It was bad. I had to call my mom like an asshole.

Yes, nothing says asshole like calling your mom to tell her what a fucktard you have been as an adult. But moms are moms. They are always there like parachutes to rescue and hot air balloons to lift you up.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind.

Work was busy before leaving NYC for Christmas. Then during Christmas my mom was sick, so I couldn't rest as much because she needed the assistance. I would have been a complete asshole if I wouldn't have stepped up. How many times has my mom stepped up for me? Plus the docs feared she had pneumonia which is no joke. Needless to say I didn't get much rest during the holiday.

Then I was in Vegas working and rehearsing for the APAP showcase performance of The Lady and President Tramp. It was rehearse, rewrite, rinse, repeat. In between I was getting threats on twitter and the venue was getting threats too. Never a dull moment.

Then I went to APAP, did some reporting for Clyde Fitch, did my showcase.....success.

However, the next few days were spent trying to recover. I got onstage right away and thought I was okay. But then I couldnt sleep. I tried but my phone buzzed, people called. I found a new Lifetime movie. I was too wired to sleep.

Finally Friday I forgot what time zone I was in. I forgot my groceries at the supermarket. I dropped my keys on my front stoop and left them outside. I got into a fight with someone I care about who's my heart in a lot of ways. When I say fight it was a big fight......so big I didn't know if they would be talking to me the next day.

Luckily Tylenol PM was to the rescue. I slept until almost noon when my landlord woke me up to tell me he made too much coffee. And then he told me about his latest UFO theory. I managed to complete my errands the next day without dying or falling asleep on my feet. Bonus, I knew what time zone it was.

Yesterday, I managed to patch things up with the person I cussed out who compared me to an infant throwing a tantrum.....ouch, and they were even kind enough to laugh me off.

Either way, I got some decent rest this weekend and put in some self-care. Now to get my show back up again, find a pianist, enter it into festivals, and make some videos. Oh you got to eat that elephant one bite at a time. Did I mention I am releasing a calendar and book?

Sigh, no rest for the weary. 

Tired........

Just got back from Vegas where I was working with my mentor for a week. The first night in Vegas is always about adjustment. You know you should get sleep but you are kind of wired, because once you see Las Vegas and the lights you just wanna PAAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Then of course when I got to my mentor's pad his Wheaton Terrier came running towards me and I didn't want to sleep. But I knew I had to because I had to be fresh. Therefore, I took a ZZZZZZZ aid. Yeah, sleep aid. Dunno if that was the best idea, but certainly wasn't the worst. Took one of the non-addictive ones and it helped get me back on track. And then off I was to work with my mentor.

We worked and did a lot. I mean, we accomplished  A LOT. So much so that after each day I was literally SPENT. Whether it was working on our new routine, perfecting our new routine, shooting videos, or doing other things to further my brand it was work, WORK, WERQ.

And then playing with his Wheaton Terrier, going to the casino with his mom who is 101 and gambles like a pro, or watching and memorizing parts of Broadway Danny Rose. However, it was mostly work, WORK, WERQ.

I saw one show though. It was Defending the Caveman with comedian Kevin Burke. The show was amazing and I would highly recommend it. My mentor works with Kevin, and a club owner who so generously helped me with my act several weeks ago recommended it as well.

Either way, shows in Vegas are of a different caliber. In NYC, aside from Broadway, theatre is very trial and error as are comedy shows aside from headliner clubs. In Vegas, it's all top notch, pro level, no mistakes, none of this workshop crap. It's show biz.........it's how these people make their dough. No time for error.

Flying back to NYC I planned to sleep on the plane because April Fool's is the busiest day in the telegram business. God had other plans. Sat next to the rudest bitch face on the face of the planet. She gets on the plane, is banging things around like she owns the damn aisle. Then she sits next to me and is eating this bag of gummy bears and dropping them on me and the dude next to me. I so wanted to strangle her.

Then she went to sleep.

However, I was chilly and didn't know why. Then all of a sudden I realized this asshole was BLASTING HER AIR!!!!!!!!!  It was like she had no concept she was on this planet with other people.

Finally at the end of the flight after I got NO SLEEP she stands up, literally tries to run over me to get her bag and has the audacity to say, "You're fine." Everyone is looking at me like they wanna kill her too because she's the bitch blasting the air. But rest assured I had bad gas from some of the tacos I ate so guess who farted freely. See, God is almost on my side.......sometimes. (They were some real stinkers, too).

I would have changed my seat but the flight was full. Anyway, I get off the plane and all I wanna do is sleep, but because I was hours behind and have energy I am too wired. Plus my boss has a gig for me in NJ. So on a plane and bus I go. They were nice people in a plastic surgeon's office and tipped well. Rent is getting paid and I got to prank a cute doctor........

In the meantime, I also engaged in a feud with a total ass clown. To give you an idea, someone I was hired to replace on a show had been baiting me online for weeks. He's a washed up idiot who's day has passed, and he takes it out on everyone else. Plus he bad mouths a very successful friend of his, and I have a feeling he might have also lifted one of this dude's bits.

Anyway, the latest, after he said something to the effect of that I had an STD, was that I stole material. Like this asshole should talk. I jumped down his throat, and then after talking with my mom I blocked him. Still, it upset me because I didnt take the gig from him. He didnt want to do what he was hired to do so he was FIRED. The guy I worked for was SUPER FAIR. I thanked him via social media and it was too much for this moron. Sigh......

However, it all caught up with me yesterday when I was so tired coming home I almost blacked out. After forgetting what day it was, I nearly forgot I had to pay rent. Then I gave my landlord TOO MUCH rent money. You know you are tired when you give your landlord too much rent money. Then I had trouble falling asleep but finally did.

Today I went to work first thing in the AM and sang for some dudes at a Legion Hall in Brooklyn. Stripping to my bikini, one old dude with a cane demanded a lap dance. Mind you, this was all after train delay after train delay. They tipped well.

On the ride home, I nearly fell asleep on the train and knew that was a bad sign, and the trains were screwed up in all directions. But yeah, almost fell asleep which isn't good.

So after some dinner I am lamenting that lately I have been working my ass off. I hurt all over. Maybe shower, already had some dinner. Watching Strictly Ballroom. The Coca Cola can is sparkling in the back of the Scott and Fran. It's one of my favorite movies. Always makes me smile, laugh and cry.

I am doing a show for the kiddies Monday in Bridgewater.

But gotta get some good rest and self-care in first.

Sparkling coca-cola can means everything is right with a rom com, good nap, and caffeine. 

And So It Goes......

The last few months have been nothing short of a roller coaster ride, full of dips and zig zags and such. Yes, a cliche opener. If you wouldn't know any better I sound like a whiny high school kid on live journal, except I am a whiny adult in cyberspace.

All the hard work I did despite all I had to endure is paying off. I have a mentor guiding my career who is nothing short than amazing. This man is funny, thinks out of the box, has an open mind, but is kind above all things. Not to mention he knows what he is talking about. It's rare to find a mentor who knows what they are talking about in this biz. But he does.

In the past, when someone tried to help me, I always saw the cracks. Maybe I wasn't ready in a way. But also, I know how to sell myself better than anyone. Not to mention I know what I am selling. When I cut ties with a mentor, I always ended up on national television afterwards, usually through my own doing. This guy knows what he is talking about as I said.

The upside of this man is he has been there through my trials and tribulations in my personal life and God knows there have been a great many. I always feel like giving the phone a hug after talking to him. Granted, cell phones are too small for that but still.

It's weird, I haven't been on TV in a while. I take that back. TV in the United States. This past year I got on Top Channel in Albania, BBC, Dutch National Television, Love TV in Finland, Telemundo, MTV Europe, and something else I am forgetting with my little puppet family. Ironically, this was all as I was dealing with the landlord from hell. I actually got eviction papers the day I found out I was on Dutch Television.

It's kind of odd in a way that this was all going on as my life was hitting the skids in America. Mind you I was getting fan letters as I was trying to make it work in a relationship that was crumbling. We tried but in the end we didn't belong together. Our values were different. I believed in trying to make it work, he believed in being friends with every ex girlfriend he ever had, and rubbing it in when he didn't get his way. He offered to stop talking to them and I said I didn't care, I just didn't want to know about the particulars of these people. It felt awkward, especially since some were serious losers. (Then again, he was a serious loser). I think he did it to make me feel insecure, put me in my place. He liked making me feel like an ugly duckling.

Deep down, for as dumb as he was he knew I was too good for him. If he tricked me into thinking I needed him, this was gold for the fool. Rest assured he's gone. We were friends who should have stayed friends. But we will never be friends again because I do not respect him as a man. Especially after he sent his crazy sister to do his dirty work. If he ever comes near me again I will call the cops, that is how much I never want to see him again.

Yet I am dating again and I really like the dudes I am dating. So much so that for as badly as my last ex treated me sometimes, I am glad the relationship is over. I got presents from a few on Valentine's Day.....hahahahahah. Not really serious with any of them. I like my freedom not just for myself but for my children. It feels good. It feels natural. It feels like I am free from the tyrannical boot of an ex who didn't appreciate my knowledge of history nor my dedication to my craft. He can have his trailer trash former girlfriends and they can have their precious crumbs. I have my boyfriends who are worth something and my male followers. HA!

I debuted in Vegas after going through all I did. I felt shell shocked the entire time but I hit a home run in front of my mentor. I wish I wasn't so burnt and could have enjoyed it. However, I was just feeling the burn, and not in the Bernie Sanders way.

I performed at the venue that Frank Sinatra and George Burns performed at. If that's not something to be proud of, I don't know what is. Either way, despite the pain I have suffered I am rocking and rolling to the next level.

I cut a lot of people out of my life, posers who liked to gossip. I don't miss any of them. I don't miss my old neighborhood. I don't miss the self-help group I used to attend full of phonies and wannabes who made excuses for their constant failure at life. I don't miss my old building. I miss some of my true friends, and there were about 4 of them. Otherwise, the rest can go to hell.

I am voting for either Hillary or Bernie, not decided yet. Whoever gets the Dem nomination. The fact Trump is leading is scary. He reminds me of Huey Long......enough said. The ex supported Trump. Yes, he was in fact that stupid. Just another in a myriad of reasons that it didn't work out with that half-wit. Watching the first round of Republican debates was painful, especially as he ranted about how Trump would make America great again and my friends and I exchanged painful glances as our brains hurt from his lack of thought.

Later when I announced it was over, they said, "Thank God, you were too smart for him."

Or as my mom explained, "Honey, we were all holding our breath on that one."

Either way, these days I am desperately seeking Mr. Okay. If I find him, he will have to be someone who has been walking upright for some time. Someone who knows politics. Someone who doesn't think socialism is evil (it has only helped Canada and the UK and they are doing better than we are). Someone who doesn't make me feel ugly by taunting me with other women. Someone who's family members know their place and their business. Someone with half a brain.

Maybe the next Mr. April Brucker will be a Democrat. Bernie Sanders is kinda sexy.......but he's kinda married. There's always Bill. Hillary doesn't mind, she's busy running the country like she was before. Still, I am on my own and excited about life. What about you kids? What about you?