Saturday, August 16, 2014

5 Questions

Everyone knows that E Harmony has the five questions. Yes, when someone gets to know you they send you five questions. Usually, they have an online profile pic that looks like this.

However, that is usually a lie. Because you see, as we know 6 feet means 5'6". Banker probably means bus boy. You get the hint. Oh, and they probably look something like this in person.

Anyway, they usually ask you five questions. My answer to all of them recently when a dude sent them my way was, "Just don't kill me." Or "The idea date would not end with me locked in your basement, begging for my life."

Of course, I now have 5 questions of my own. My suitors will have to answer these to the best of their ability. Here they are:

1. Have you ever been to jail? If so, what for and how long?

2. Have you ever been abducted by aliens and do you see/take orders from dead people?

3. Do you have HIV/AIDS/Hep C. Note, legally I have to ask and your answer does not disqualify you.

4. Will your father hit on me at Thanksgiving?

5. Are you in a drug treatment program/probation? If so, what is your curfew time?

Anyway, I think these should clear a lot of air.

Check out my DVD Broke and Semi-Famous

1 comment:

  1. 1. No I've never been to jail.
    2. No aliens or see dead people.
    3. I have none of the above.
    4. No, my father passed away 14yrs ago (day after my 18th bday) so it's not possible.
    5. I am not in any of these things.