Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I Wear Cowboy Boots

I haven’t blogged lately because I have been busy. Valentine’s Day is crunch time with the telegrams. It’s the day of the year that basically pays the rent. Plus I had a few that needed redelivered because of the snow and got more money for those. Oh and then I had some stuff I had to do for my writing. Basically, I have been busy. Yeah, I said that. Busy and tired.
Valentine’s Day was certainly busy. I ended up delivering four deliveries which was supposed to be seven but three were moved because of the snow. I did my first and got a nice tip. Went to the second, dude was in a meeting. Sprinted to Brooklyn, and then went back to LES to complete the third. All three of these folks threw money at me which was a surprise. Then delivered to a girl for her birthday as a cake. Later I sprinted to perform with La Familia, a multicultural collective I belong to. I finished the day with five good shows. I was so tired I forgot about it. And then I went home.
After which I rolled out of bed and went to another delivery. Yes, I went to Westchester, Larchmont, and walked up a snowy ravine. For some reason I never tire of adventure even when it almost kills me. Hell, my life almost kills most people but nevermind that. For the record, I spent the rest of the day in bed.
Sunday I recorded a podcast with Matt Bailey, a young ventriloquist living in the city that attends Pace University. I am on the episode after Terry Fator. At the moment, it is tough to see who is king of the Ventriloquists, Terry Fator or Jeff Dunham. I respect them both. Terry and I have a strange relationship. We have never met, but people compare us. They either ask me if I like him and say we are both good, or tell me how much I suck and how much more superior his brand of humor is. I’m happy for the man. He’s making money and has a hot wife.
Monday was spent running errands and doing a favor for a friend. Today I had three redeliveries. One was a lesbian secret admirer. The woman on the receiving end was a little confused, the contact was in Milan, and everyone was like Ohhh la la. I think she thought it was from a man, she said so herself. But my instructions were to slow dance with her. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, but this woman might be a little surprised when she finds out her knight in shining armor is Joan of Arc. Who knows? Maybe this might be the love of her life. Then I did another that was awesome and got a hug from the client. Third was downtown to an AIDS crisis center.
Then I had to fight crime on my facebook friends. One of my followers put up several avatars on my thread spewing white power with photos of Hitler and with the sayings “If it ain’t white it ain’t right.” So I had to block him. Then I sent my writing off to some people and blah blah blah.

Either way this is all possible because I wrangle and wrestle with the best of the cow pokes. Yes, I am talking my zebra striped cowboy boots. I got them in Nashville with my sister. They have been the footwear that has seen me through all these adventures. As I said my life would kill most people. But my cowboy boots keep me in line and keep me kicking ass and taking names. 

I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl

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