Black Friday

It is the day after Thanksgiving and sadly I hardly know what to do with myself. I have gas, terrible horrible turkey gas. It is an embarrassing sort of thing. As a matter of fact all day long I have been gassing it worse than some poor Mexican living on an all taco diet. I am talking like someone who should be on The Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Then again I did have the pleasure of appearing in a commercial with Jeff Foxworthy and do remember he was a nice guy. Still this turkey makes someone embarrassed to go out. How will I ever find a suitable man with a job?

I am currently at Myrtle Beach at the shore with my family. So far it has been a good trip. My brother and his wife came in. It is so weird having my brother married. He has currently been married for eighteen months. There are some half way houses and drug programs that give chips and things for people who stay clean and sober for eighteen months. Plus if this was a celebrity marriage it would have been over already my brother was so quick to point out. All and all they enjoyed their beach walks. They also thought it was funny that they were in medical school and I was on a medical reenactment show.

We all went to the mall which was interesting. The people were out and about. At the Dollar Store we saw a whole new species of white trash and other genetic mutations. Then again, you get such mutations in dollar stores everywhere. We made an attempt to score with some hot guys and ended up talking to some marginal men at the scrub store. They told us how they dressed in scrubs telling women they were doctors in order to score. Maybe it was better that didn’t work out.

I also almost landed a sugar daddy this morning. I was walking on the beach in my bikini and bam. He was an old man and told me I looked great and asked how old I was. Maybe it was better that didn’t work out.

It seems I have grown so much as a person from last year to this year. Aside from everything I have been doing with myself I feel as if I have grown leaps and bounds and am happier than ever. Maybe I am growing in faith, but my heart feels lighter and I am enjoying my life. As I watch The Blind Side I know it’s gonna be alright. Love April